So I (F26) had a guy (21M) ask for my number who I met at a concert. We had a date yesterday, and we scheduled a second date Tuesday. He actually asked if he could come over today which is a few days before our scheduled date, so it seems he likes me a lot? I’m curious if he’s just looking to bone, or if he is looking to date me to see if we could be in a relationship. If he just wanted to bone sure I’d probably hook up soon, but if he wants a relationship I think I’d like to wait a bit to make it more special. But I figured it’s probably inappropriate to ask that when we’ve only gone on one date.. when is an appropriate time to ask? Would a woman asking you that make you run the other way? Should I wait after a set amount of times hanging out ? Thank you for your help.
Tl;dr when is a good time to ask someone what their intentions are ?
9 comments
If you wanna find out, that’s the right time to ask.
I wouldn’t run if ask but sometimes, if not many times, the answer is “both”.
it’s not weird and i believe women should feel free to communicate as to filter confused people out
You should definitely feel free to ask…just understand if he doesn’t know at the moment you ask
Feel free to ask your average answer would be a combination of both. Men and women view sex and relationships differently ie “if I say one or the other she could not want to talk to me but I still want to see her so I’ll say an answer that’s ambiguous but still keeps me in a good position
> I’m curious if he’s just looking to bone, or if he is looking to date me to see if we could be in a relationship.
Not seeing why he’d not be open to both.
> when is an appropriate time to ask? Would a woman asking you that make you run the other way?
Ah, yeah, at least a little bit anyway. I think of anything serious like “intentions” as more of a ‘third date’ or later kinda discussion.
> I’m curious if he’s just looking to bone, or if he is looking to date me to see if we could be in a relationship
For guys these aren’t mutually exclusive.
Also it’s weird that you wod make him wait if he wants a serious relationship. Huh? Feels like you are rewarding him if he just wants to bone, punishing him if he wants to be serious. If you wanna have sex, just have sex with him.
It’s not weird to ask. Or you can also just state your stance on it and ask how that works for him?
It’s also tricky. I as a man might be interested in serious dating, and curious to get to know you to see whether I’d be interested in that with you, but it’s very possible I’ll find out that I’m not. If I find out that I’m not, it doesn’t mean I’m not interested in serious dating, just that I’m not interested in that with you in particular.
Can someone answer the same question, but for women? I want to have a good conversation with the person im currently dating so we can maximize understanding and fun.