Dating in college

10 comments

1. You’re looking at a specific population if you post here, try posting in a variety of subreddits. Maybe ask people irl too.

2. Well, what do you do in life as far as socialization is concerned ? Focusing on studies is fine and dandy, but it sounds like you are using it as an excuse to not make time to socialize with other people. Newsflash, if you don’t go out and socialize with other people, how can you expect to find friends or dates ?? College definitely has tons of social activities and events that don’t necessarily include clubs and bars. But you have to actually go to them and take advantage of them. Again, you should focus on getting a degree, but you also need time management abilities. You need to find some time to socialize and talk to people.

3. I’m wondering the same, I’ve done like 3 years of university , most of it was wasted in classroom from home and so on in a degree I didn’t even like, basically never did anything social until right before covd and now doing another degree, I tried many activities mostly hiking but never matched with anyone, this semester I’m doing foreign language clubs and some research groups, on the first most women stopped attending and on the other it’s mostly guys, and even when you go out for beers it’s boring as fuck, despite these guy not’t looking all that nerds lmao, for me it’s been a struggle man, this semester really hjit me hard with those feelings, I started relatively well, but it became an all consuming though the more it went on, like trying to date and shit, I only went to lunch with a girl but blew my chances, didn’t really got into any date, there is one last option this semester , a teacher in English language, filipino American girl, she is only 23 while I’m 30 lmao and we’ve been getting along and she actually has been asking for me, to other guys, I would love to ask her on a date, just to drink coffee and practice and feel like at least I did something this semester haha, I’m here alone in the library trying to make up for all my courses which I might inevitably fail if I don’t get a good score on the last exam, that’s how fuck up my semester went because of that shit and not having control over my mind haha.

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   edit: oh yeap, I’ve been told to hit parties man, going to parties with some alcohol might do the trick, jsut need to get really good in other classes in order to not fail them, work hard party hard, get into the habit, also becoming top of the class might have some advantages too, approaching girls would be far easier.

4. I’d go mental if I didn’t talk to girls during uni. It balances me out going out and meeting new people. I wouldn’t have been able to keep up with work if I didn’t do shit like that

5. I met most of my friends in student housing, is that an option?

6. Hey, OP, it sounds like you might be overworked right now. Are you sure you want to try to add a committed relationship into that? It wouldn’t really be fair to your partner if you never had time for them.

   Also, if you’re super super busy right now, is there a possibility that maybe you could scale back a bit on some of your commitments? Maybe take less classes next term? Cut back on work hours at your job? Trim back an unnecessary extracurricular? I’m worried that you might get burnt out. You should be able to have a life and hobbies and a bit of relaxation that you enjoy outside of boosting your resume, regardless of what you’re studying.

   Also, please remember that everyone is on their own timeline. Just because you’re not in a relationship this very moment doesn’t mean you’ll be alone forever, and it doesn’t always mean it’s a bad thing.

   Once you feel ready and able to be in a relationship, maybe try going to an event or outing that is about something you actually enjoy (even if you have to go alone). You’re way more likely to click with someone that shares a common interest.

   If you live in a dorm on campus, buy a door stop and a can opener. #1 way I made friends at college my first year was keeping my door open and letting people borrow random stuff.

   You’ll find your people. It’ll all be okay. Please take care of you first before adding someone else into the mix, though 💕

7. Social hobbies/activities (dancing, gym), dating apps, or random people on the street. You can do it literally anywhere, it’s just most people find it hard to approach strangers.

8. Why not at bars or clubs? I meet almost all my girls at bars or clubs

9. School is important of course but I have to ask why do you need to focus so much on your work? I just don’t understand people like this and I’m asking because someone I met recently who I was interested in and thought was into me is like this.

   I know people doing their 3rd year of uni and master’s and they still say yes to every social event. And they obviously have a ton of work, a job, and still do well academically. So why are you not able to socialise if you want to? I know you’re not spending every waking hour on your work. Otherwise you wouldn’t be stressing out about this.
   So I can’t help but assume it’s that you don’t actually want to socialise with these people so you don’t bother to make time for them. Because regardless of how much academic work these people I know and myself have we can still make time to socialise very easily.

   So if you want to socialise then why can’t you just do that?

10. I always thought Uni or College are for making contacts, possible colleagues or connections for when looking for a job. But there will be friends/classmates who you spend good time with and maybe romance will come along… or not. I don’t think anyone has time for movie style romance while focusing on the studies but it can happen. I started dating a friend who just graduated and I’m working on my grad project, we were friends for years in Uni.