Jealousy

7 comments

1. >he seems to be very concerned that I may still have feelings for J, especially since we run in similar circles so I typically see her (in a group setting) twice a week.

   Well duh lol

   If he had feelings for some girl that he hangs out with twice a week, you would be pretty worried too.

   >He’s become so concerned that now I’m questioning myself. Like what if I still have residual feelings for her?

   Sounds like he has a right to be concerned then.

2. Emotional cheating. Ew. Breakup and let him find someone who won’t make a post like this on Reddit while being in a relationship.

3. Allow yourself to imagine a romantic or sexual interaction with J. Then act out explaining in full detail about how the hypothetical scenario made you feel, alone. If you feel the urge to hide your true thoughts concerning the outcome of this exercise from your bf, and not out of fear of retaliation, then you will cheat on him given the opportunity. Besides doing things behind his back this wouldn’t necessarily be unethical, you might just be poly.

4. You might have feelings for J. So what? We’re humans. We have feelings all the time. Maybe you also sometimes feel like murdering the asshole who cut you off in traffic. Strangely enough, you seem to manage to not do that, because you are a human with self control, not an animal that fights and fucks anything that catches it’s eye.

   You need to assure yourself that you aren’t going to cheat or leave your boyfriend because of some fleeting feelings you might have for someone else. And then you need to tell your bf he has nothing to worry about. And then if he’s still worried, *he* needs to work on trusting his partner.

5. So to a certain extent, jealousy is natural and is part of growing up and having relationships. Every person and every relationship will need to find their own way to deal with it. In general the more stable the relationship and more mature the person it’s easier to overcome. It’s going to really help if you can both be open and honest with each other about it.

   That being said, if you know your boyfriend is uncomfortable with you being around this girl, what kind of message is it sending to him that you continue to do just that? I think you need to take a step back and ask yourself what you really want. Do you want to show your boyfriend that you value your relationship together? Then maybe you need to distance yourself from this other individual. Is this not a serious relationship? Then maybe you need to make that clear to your boyfriend so you can both carry on with your lives. Either way, set boundaries that you both can agree on. And if you can’t agree then maybe the relationship has run its course

6. The issue with attraction is its fluid the other thing i recognize is a lack of closure, and The last part is just simple jealousy. You have to get to the root of your feelings and figure out who brings out the best you. What I will say is that the problems with old relationships are the problems you had are still there the problems with new relationships are you don’t know them yet. If you want to work things out with your bf then talk to him about what triggers his jealousy and let him know your feelings. Well I’d start there anyway so you have all the information available, and communication is key

7. If your still trying to decide if you want to be with him or her then break up.