She and I grew up together ever since we were little babies. I always loved her growing up, and I honestly was stupid enough to believe she was “the one” for me. Everything with us was perfect and it seemed like if it came out of a movie.
Our families are very close still, but I have put some distance between us. When I was like 19 or 20 she and I were about to get serious with each other. We had some “dates” and we were both in love. I know she loved me, but she fucked things up for us.
I can’t judge though, it’s her choice to do what she wants. Anyways, her mother kept telling me to try and at least be friends with her, but it hurt at the time and I needed space. She said she was sad that I wasn’t as close with her anymore, but I stopped talking to her because I found out she was with another guy at the same time.
It was months of her trying to talk and me avoiding her and she had a kid with the guy. So apparently they broke up and he doesn’t want anything to do with her or her daughter. I saw her a few weeks back and she tried talking to me, but I kept the conversation short and simple.
I had some good opportunities right after graduatimg college and I make a lot of money now with my family. I bought my own house, I was blessed to be able to afford one od my dream cars, and I can buy nice designer clothes. This girl hit me up again and she wants to try things with me again.
She said she regrets the way she did things and she said she should have had a family with me and not with the other guy. I still have some sort of interest in her, but it’s hard for me to fully trust and I am not sure if she is just here because I make money now. I need advice from others since whenever I talk with my family shout this, they get upset with me for thinking this way. What do you guys suggest I do regarding even talking with her again?
Tldr: old best friend played games with me when I was in love with her. She had a baby with another guy and now she is back after he left her and she foukd out I make a lot of money
10 comments
She screwed up her life and you’re her back up plan. That doesn’t mean you can’t be happy with her. But it’s going to be really hard for you to ever trust her motives with you. And rightly so. Maybe there’s a woman out there who hasn’t messed up her life and loves you for you and wants to make an honest relationship with you and you aren’t going to be her fall back plan. Listen maybe your friend is right for you. Maybe she learned from her mistakes. None of us know. Stay grounded and clear headed and trust yourself, whatever you choose.
If you are still interested, you can try it out. Take it very very slow – if you decide to get into a relationship with her in due course, don’t do anything like moving in, getting married, giving her significant financial or material gifts, getting very involved with how the child is raised, etc, until much further down the line when you are absolutely sure of her intentions. Oh, and make sure you are practicing safe sex – condoms that you bring yourself and dispose of yourself afterwards.
Hopefully all of this would be unnecessary precaution but better safe than sorry. Time and your instincts will tell. If you loved each other before it’s not inconceivable that there could be something real there now, but your change in situation isn’t something to be discounted out of hand, either. If you still like her, proceed with caution.
Dude. You’re way to early in your journey to be someone’s back up plan.
Go out, meet lots of people, travel and date. Give yourself the opportunity to outgrow this.
It’s possible she is into your money but it’s unlikely especially because of your history together. You should assume positive things like her attention means she wants you sexually. Don’t verbalize that ever just think it .
She is a gold digger who’s after your money. She has a child who she will definitely use to get money from you
For what you’ve written here it doesn’t sound like those are determinative factors, like you had a thing and she “fucked it up” and it sounds like she has been consistently regretting that (especially once that didn’t work out). Kind of sounds like she was really immature and didn’t know what she wanted and was trying to have everything.
That said What she wants and why she wants it or nowhere near as important as what you want and what you need to live a happy and comfortable life. You don’t owe her a second chance
You don’t trust her.
That is reason enough to step aside. You’ll never know for sure what her motivations are, it’s also possible she’s not fully aware of her own motivations. She might swear it’s not about the money, and it might be true.
Doesn’t matter.
What matters is you don’t trust her. Not really. Not actions or her character. So don’t waste your time. You’ll have ‘some sort of interest’ in someone else. Tell your family to butt out. You’re just not interested in reconnecting with her romantically.
>What do you guys suggest I do regarding even talking with her again?
Don’t do it. Better people out there with less baggage. Who won’t use you for your newfound wealth.
Just no.
Don’t trust her at all.
You’re her Forrest Gump.