So I (21F) have been talking to this guy (19M) it’s been a little over a month. We’re both in different colleges and he lives about 45 minutes away from me. We’ve gone on about 4 dates. I really like him and I am extremely attracted to him. We text daily but sporadically throughout the day. I feel like we have chemistry and I hate being in this stupid talking stage. I just wanna know if we’re gonna be together or not fr. It honestly feels like we are, the way we talk and some things he does and says (we’ve made out twice). My biggest problem is, he’s a terrible communicator. And I can’t tell if he’s lying abt really liking me or if I’m just being unreasonable. I’ve conceded that I am not gonna be able to talk to him during the day. He’s always too busy to talk (understandably so, ppl have lives.) All I’ve asked is that he communicate that he’s gonna be busy, and try to make some effort to talk to me at some point. Even if it’s at night. And sometimes he does. But I always end up having to call him or prompt him to call me. He never does it on his own. For example today (thanksgiving) I didn’t text him much all day. But I mentioned we should FaceTime later. He agreed. But 10 o clock rolls around and he hasn’t called. I ask him if we’re still going to or not. And he responds w/ “I’ll call you at 11:30.” No explanation as to why. When he calls i ask him and he says he showered and played some video game. So in my mind i just feel kinda blown off. It feels like he thinks I’ll just wait around for him indefinitely?? Like if he’s not even choosing me over a game does he really like me? I hate to be the “annoying gf” cliche. But I just feel like if someone is important to you they will make the effort to talk to you. But I feel like I am a very low priority for him if I am one at all. But it’s hard to just drop him bc I’m getting mixed signals and he never just expresses how he feels. When I’m visibly irritated and explaining my frustration he doesn’t say anything. Its like he could care less if I’m upset. He’ll just let me gts mad. I’m so torn bc I don’t wanna settle for less but I already feel so invested in him. Pls feel free to share your thoughts/advice. Am I being ridiculous? Is it too soon to feel this way?
P.s. thx if you read all that. I’m sorry this post is so long.
2 comments
You are definitely in this more than he is.
If it’s not an excited yes, then it’s a no.
Your confusion over it all doubles that sentiment.
You should never feel confused about whether or not someone likes you and wants to be with you.
And let’s be real, you aren’t really that invested in him. It sounds like you’re more invested in the idea of him and/or the idea of being with him. A month is nothing in the scheme of things.
Drop this dude. Attraction can’t create a relationship.
Tbh, it just sounds like young people not understanding people process things differently.
My advise,
Tell him you like him and want to know if you’re definitely In a relationship or if you’re just chillin.
If you’re in a relationship, then express you’re emotionally needy (which isn’t a problem, that’s just the way you show affection) and would like him to meet you at that level.
If you’re just chillin, then just chill, and basically relax.