I (14f) was officially dating my ex (16m – let’s call him B) for about four months before we split. His friends are my friends too so we’re usually around each other and it’s fine except for the fact that our interactions are a little more strained now.
But I was thinking back on our previous conversations and I think that he may be biphobic. While we were together B brought up concerns that one of our mutual friends (15f – let’s call her Y), also bisexual, may try to “take me away” from him and either force us to break up or just go behind his back. Just because both of us had recently come out as bi.
I reassured him that Y would never do a thing like that while we were still together but near the last three or four weeks of our relationship I noticed him looking suspiciously at her and he would often lash out if she was more affectionate towards me than usual or if I talked to her more than I talked to him, ignoring the fact that she was crushing on someone else and we were *still together*.
I feel like if it is biphobia, I’m afraid that because we’re not together anymore it may be targeted twoards me, and I don’t feel comfortable hanging out with the group if he’s around anymore, which is a problem because our mutual friends are pretty much my only friends, and without them I’m alone. So I don’t know what to do.
TL;DR: Ex boyfriend (16m) possibly biphobic, in the same friend group, and I no longer feel comfortable hanging out around him. What should I do (and is it biphobia or am I overreacting)?
5 comments
I don’t think it’s biphobia, just regular insecure male teen crap.
Biphobia would be him hating or being bigoted towards someone due to them being bi. Him being an ass because he feels someone might take you away is just toxic insecurity
At the end of the day, you’re entitled to think what you like, in the privacy of your own mind and home, if you don’t do any harm to anybody, or make anybody feel uncomfortable. That includes bi / gay people, and it includes those who thinks such a lifestyle is repulsive.
Unfortunately, in this day and age, there are still many people, especially from religious or similar backgrounds, who will never accept that bi / gay can be a legitimate thing. It is what it is, they’ll all be dead eventually and hopefully be replaced with much more open minded people, one generation at a time.
He’s your ex now, I wouldn’t worry too much about it, who gives a fuck what they think, you live out your best life, supporting all of your friends in the right way, no matter who/what they are, and stay away from future relationships with bigots, and if you ever speak to him again and he says anything like that again, challenge him, try to educate him, if he can’t be educated, then just forget about it, he can go fuck himself, plain and simple
Don’t live your life worrying about ifs and buts, if nothing has happened, it may never happen, if something does happen, stand up and fight for your beliefs, don’t bow down, and don’t let anybody ruin you or your friends lives
Dump him. Date her.
See how it goes.
> I feel like if it is biphobia…
Worst case, he was jealous. Don’t be ridiculous, huh?
I don’t see phobia I see jealously and insecurity. Hearty splash of being young and still figuring shit out.