My ex and I briefly dated again this summer. Every step of the way it felt like he felt the same, but now says he didn’t and let our close connection fool him into thinking he feels the same way romantically.
Although, he says he doesn’t know why he doesn’t feel the same, which doesn’t make sense to me being I feel people usually have concrete reasons. I.e., lack of attraction, lack of trust, etc.
He said if he knew, he would have already told me.
Is it possible to really just not have romantic feelings with no reason?
Let me add—he said, “I don’t know why I don’t feel the same when we connect in ways I haven’t with anyone else” and the way he looked at me, even the last time I saw him, isn’t a way I’ve ever seen any of my other guy friends that don’t have feelings for me look at me.
Also, it doesn’t make sense to me because we had already been in a relationship before and there was a time he was very much in love with me. So it’s not like we have never clicked and it was never there.
Also, when he ended things, he was unsure about it and admitted he had been fighting himself a lot on it and that made him feel broken. A few days later, when he actually ended things, he told me he had met someone else. I only learned yesterday they’ve been together this entire time. He jumped into another relationship straight away, it wasn’t even a week. There was an overlap.
13 comments
Not always, sometimes you just don’t click the right way with someone even if they are cool and you like them.
Of course it’s possible not to have romantic feelings for no particular reason. That’s why they’re called ‘feelings’, not ‘empirical deductions’ or something
A lot of guys may not be able to exactly articulate why they feel that way. It’s not exactly a quality that is encouraged and reinforced as we grow up. It’s best to respect what he says unless you have a reason to believe he is being dishonest.
Sure – a lack of chemistry sometimes is unexplained.
Happened to me. She was nice and our goals lined up… But I just never felt that way about her. It happens sometimes, she would have been great if only I’d felt anything. I don’t really know why that was the case but it was.
You ever read a post from a woman about a guy who checks all of her boxes and yet she doesn’t feel that way about him?
Sometimes it’s just something that is lacking between two people
Some people have a very hard time find reasoning for emotions and feelings. I have this problem also. My therapist said its a low emotional maturity level.
It could also just be there was something about you he didn’t like and isn’t trying to be mean by saying your laugh annoys him or something but It’s likely there is a reason and he just doesn’t know how to express it.
I would honestly not delve into this anymore. I think you’re just asking a question, but this could lead to a lot of insecurities if you keep looking at this.
In the end, it doesn’t really matter, and he tapped out. Best for you to move on.
To answer your question though, some guys are not in tune with why they feel, but they do understand when they feel. If he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know. And no answer that we can give you will be 100% on his reasons.
He’s stringing you along and then creating distance because he doesnt want to be accused of leading you on when he inevitably completely rejects you. I would stop playing his game and move on.
Romantic feelings tend to be irrational so at times you can’t articulate exactly why you feel one way or another.
That said, this guy is just kind of a dick for stringing you along while he was already dating someone else. Does this other girl think they are exclusive? Did he even tell her he went back to date you while he was dating her?
It’s not always easy to pinpoint a reason. Usually it’s she’s not pretty enough. A lot of men want to pretend it’s not an issue but let’s be real. Men will put up with way more crap from a woman if she’s pretty enough.
Other reasons I see is she is too exhausting, she’s too much of a headache, goals don’t line up, we have nothing to talk about,
Nope just something isn’t there. However in your case you two already a relationship and he had feeling’s towards you then the relationship ended. If he had feeling’s before he would have had to kill off those feelings. Sorry to say after that it’s impossible to feel the same way about the other person you should let him move on and you should too.
The sex was really bad !