I (22m) feel like if I don’t work really hard to put on an air of respectability, or fake some sort of confidence or act like I don’t care, that I will get picked on, no one will respect me or think I have anything to offer and I will be made scapegoat of whatever group I’m in.
It’s been my experience that people are always nitpicking and looking for reasons to give up on me, and even if they like me at first, it’ll all go to shit if they decide I’m boring or some other stupid reason. I feel like it’s worse with confident people, they’ll be more dismissive and their social clout makes it easier for them to spread rumors about you. The older I get, the more confident everyone is, so I don’t know what to do.
I don’t get why I’m never enough. I struggle to build confidence when I know everyone is like this.
TL;DR I’m afraid to interact with people because it feels like everyone is a couple steps away from being a bully.
2 comments
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Unfortunately your observations are accurate; what you are describing is unfortunately human nature. Everyone *is* a couple steps away from being a bully (if that) because they themselves are insecure and people are hard-wired to “solve” that insecurity by harming others.
It’s not so much that you’re “never enough” as it is the judgement of other, insecure people that you’re “not enough” – but they’re not judging in good faith; they’re putting you down to feel power over you to salve their own insecurity. Those people who *look* like they are “more confident” are putting on the same act you mentioned in your 1st paragraph.