Background: broke up with him in 2020, we still chatted here and there, would say we miss eachother, we hung out twice, then I got a boyfriend in 2021, my ex still messaged me knowing this and asked to hang which I didn’t do because I was in a relationship. Let’s just say the new relationship was the most toxic relationship I’ve ever experienced and I’ve really realized that I fucked up by leaving my first one. This has been bugging me for MONTHS even while in the new relationship where I tried to break up multiple times.
So I was thinking of sending this to my ex of 5.5 years:
Hey, I just feel like I never got to say what I’ve been wanting to say for a long time but I regret not trying to work on our relationship. I think you have someone now and I genuinely hope you are happy. She is very lucky to have you.
Our issues were so small and definitely solvable if we communicated more and put the work in and it sucks that it’s taken me this long to realize and see that. I’m in therapy and bettering myself and just learning a lot about myself.
I don’t expect a reply but just needed to tell you that I’m sorry.
6 comments
Are you apologizing to make yourself feel better or do you think it will help him?
As other comment kinda hinted at, if you think he’d benefit from hearing it, send it. It shows a level of self awareness and maturity.
That being said, if you’re sending it for the wrong reasons, and you’re just doing it for your own conscience, probably hold off on it.
If it’s some gray area and a little bit of both, hold off on the text, and say it to him in person when it’s a good moment to. Face to face come off as more genuine (it takes more “””courage””” I guess.) than a text that for all they know, you sent while drunk, at a low, at a weird delirious high, etc.
Might just cause trouble with his new relationship. Haven’t you hurt the poor guy enough? That being said, I feel like your heart’s in the right place & you never know if you don’t try, right? That is if you are trying to reconcile but if you’re not then what’s the point? If it was my ex sending me that, I would take great joy in hitting the block button after reading the message I wanted to get like years ago, two years later instead. Then I would take a sip of my Frappe & smile, not the smile of the old me, but now that the tables have turned – I’d wear the smile of a winner.
If he’s in a new relationship then don’t send it, you clearly want him back so sending this is very uncool imo
Don’t do it, you’re only doing it for you. It’s like a round robin way of playing hard to get. Don’t fuck with this guys mental health while he’s in a relationship. You’re literally sending him a “I wish I worked more on our relationship *wink wink*, i know you’re with someone but your absolutely awesome and she’s lucky to have you *wink wink* man if I could do it all over again I’d do it differently, I see that now *wink wink*” seriously don’t do that. It’s a shitty thing to do, don’t make this guy question his current relationship with this obvious attempt at temptation. Keep working on yourself and leave the past in the past.
Incredibly selfish