I am a 26F. For years, I only focused on college, work, and family obligations. I am very short and look like a teenager for my age so I get self conscious when around other people my age. I do not have very many friends and none of them really “go out.”

But I want to go out more. I want a social life. I am tited of being at home every single weekend. I am tired of the dating apps. I want to meet a guy out in the wild.

So tonight I am going out to a bar alone. My question:

1) How do I not look weird? Being at a bar by myself/ sitting by myself?
2) Do I approach someone?
3) What do you do at a bar?

One of the bars I was thinking about going too has good food and ia doing a fundraiser tonight. So the fundraiser can work in my favor?

Just what do I do to not look stupid being there?

5 comments

  1. go with a friend if possible, alternatively look for bars with trivia night.

    If you do go solo, sit at the bar and chat up the bar tender or people sitting nearby while youre waiting for your drinks/food.

    also, you could look for bars that have music / dance night. if there are none, consider clubs/music venues

    sports bars could work for solo if you go during a big game night

    good luck!

  2. Wow ! For female to go out to find someone to meet is astonishing , don’t you have folks hitting on you regular basis but yeah bar is not the place to find soulmates lol i would join some hobbies.

  3. I am 26M as well and in the exact same same boat as you. I have visited the bar possibly a hand full of times. And I usually sit there alone drinking one or two beers. Just watching everyone else have fun, hoping a girl just approaches me with the energy I need to get me out of my comfort zone. But who am I kidding. What I have noticed is usually the “regulars” that usually visit are just looking for hookups. Which is something Im not really interested in to be honest. So personally I hope a women will one day approach me during my daily routines(gym, and work) instead of a bar. But hey, you’re trying to be social so thats a good start!

    How do I not look weird? Being at a bar by myself/ sitting by myself? – This is a good question, I think you wouldnt look as weird as a man would. But try sitting “at” the bar instead of some isolated area.

    – Do I approach someone? – So your going alone as a women and are most likely going to be approached by some man for sure, so hang in there!

    – What to do at the bar? – Most people play pool(if theres pool tables) or other games available. Sometime even Karaoke.

  5. I once went to a gay club in sweats and a hoodie and sat in a corner with my friends cuz my foot was broken and I couldn’t walk or dance. I have never had so many straight guys approach me and hit on me. Even without the damsel in distress look, literally all you have to do is show up and there’ll be guys talking to you. Granted, these guys just want a hookup/one night stand so go in knowing that. Nobody meets their life partner at bars anymore.

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