For Men who’s father are dying / died from cancer but didn’t have the best relationship, what would / are you doing differently?

6 comments

1. My father and I did not have a good relationship. I suspect my old man never really wanted kids. And as the third son I think he was really done by the time I came around. We really butted heads.

   I got out of my house as soon as I could. I avoided my dad until my kids were born 20 years later. My dad was actually a very good grandfather to my kids. I. Didn’t want to deprive them of grand parents so I allowed it.

   I actually credit my dad for being a model of what not to be. I’ve used this as a guide with my kids. And I believe it’s served us well. I’m told I’m a great father and I actually feel the same. So thanks dad……. I guess.

   Oh, by they way he died from a long bout with brain cancer. It was very hard on my kids, my nieces and his wife. I got through it pretty easily. I did t have the standard “I wish we could have worked it out” guilt.

2. I don’t know

3. No clue, maybe talk more? He kept to himself most of the time.

4. I’m not sure I understand the question. What are you doing differently to be a better father? Or to not get cancer? Or just, like, in general?

5. I would have asked him more of the tough questions to give me more clarity on the pain points of our relationship.

6. Nothing. Him having cancer doesn’t make him any less of an abusive jerk. I tolerated his abuse for 30 years and then cut him off; I’m not going to start tolerating it again just because he got sick.