One time, okay but countless amount of times of this disgusting behavior from a grown man (M42).
Am I overreacting when I have to ask my husband to clean up his pee from his drunken night after I let a day go by of pee soaked towels on our wood floor?
We got into a argument this morning because he felt like I am punishing him by making comments about cleaning up and doing this nasty habit even more now that we have a 1 year old.
29 comments
Seriously? What the hell…?
He needs an inpatient rehab program or AA or a therapist (harm reduction model therapist)…that’s not normal to drink that much.
Show him the comments when everyone says how appalling this is.
That’s gross. What is he.. a dog
Always make sure your future partner is house broken. So that is a thing?
He needs to get help for his addiction to alcohol.
It sounds like he has an alcoholism problem and needs help. The best thing you can do is offer support and ensure you are not enabling him. Has he explored the possibility of AA, or rehab?
what the actual fuck?!
I enjoy having a few cocktails. Sometimes one too many. But I have never done something like that. I know people who have and all I can think is wtf is wrong with you.
If you can’t control your behavior while drinking. You probably shouldn’t.
So is he expecting you to clean up his mess? Wow.
Listen, I am an alcoholic and managed to not once pee on furniture before I got clean. Your husband needs to quit drinking ASAP and at his level of alcoholism he might need inpatient rehab.
This… this is not just drunk person behavior… I hope you aren’t downplaying this…
Anyone who repeatedly drinks to the point of LOSING CONTROL OF THEIR BODILY FUNCTIONS is functionally addicted to alcohol…
Ok, first things first. Your husband is an alcoholic. Did you know that? Take a deep breath.
You need to go to an alanon meeting and talk to some people.
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[https://al-anon.org/](https://al-anon.org/)
His behaviour is concerning. It’s also concerning that you are questioning whether or not you are overreacting.
You are underreacting. You have a child. It’s unacceptable to behave this recklessly with a child in your household. You need to start holding your husband to a higher standard. If he can’t control himself when he is drunk, then he shouldn’t drink.
It absolutely isn’t okay to have a toddler walking through his urine. What happens when he comes home and decides to pee in your child’s bed? And what other offences will he commit while using alcohol as an excuse? He either stops drinking or he shouldn’t be in the home.
this is the least of your problems
Consider a secular program based on science and behavioral therapy. AA was a trailblazer in its day, but just replaces one addiction with another.
My ex would pee the bed. Passed out asleep. Didn’t bother him. Bothered me. It didn’t happen often, but how many times am I supposed to put up with it? We broke up.
Edit: He was and is an alcoholic.
You are underreacting.
I would never raise a child in an environment with a sloppy alcoholic. It will just get worse and your child will learn that bad behavior is ok.
My ex husband peed in the closet one time when drunk. Notice I said EX husband.
Him peeing on the furniture is a symptom of a larger problem
As an alcoholic, this is absolutely alcoholic behavior.
Reason, logic, pleading, and ultimatums will not work. He needs treatment. I’m sorry for what you’re going though, and I know this isn’t the hopeful encouragement you want right now, but it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
Um, you have a larger problem than him peeing on your furniture. You have an addict and alcoholic for a husband and father to your child. This is very dangerous for both you. The emotional abuse, neglect, gas lighting, waste of money, loss of job etc will be issues you’ll soon be dealing with on top on the volatile volcano that comes when confronting addicts on their behavior. I think you’re close or should he close to ultimatum time. He goes to rehab and gets sober or he leaves the house.
That’s disgusting and you should just make him sleep outside if he wants to get piss himself drunk. Honestly, what an alcoholic man child. You have a baby. Make him address his issues and fix it or get out. CPS would remove your child if they found the dad so drunk he peed on the furniture, and then no one cleans it up!!
OP it sounds like your husband is an alcoholic and the pee is a symptom of what is actually a much bigger issue.
The defensiveness and deflecting when you call him out on this is classic active alcoholic behavior.
Alcohol damages your bladder. My father had some of those peeing problems when I was a kid. Those are memories that I will never forget. Years later he had kidney issues as well. Your husband needs an in patient rehab intervention.
Hon, if your spouse is routinely getting piss the house drunk, he’s got a drinking problem. My dog does better than that.
Excuse me… *what?!* Ain’t no way. I’d absolutely lose my mind. Full stop. I have absolutely no tolerance or patience for a drunk. Get help or get out. Getting so drunk he’s peeing on the couch *frequently?!* Friend, he’s an alcoholic. What are you even doing? To hell with worrying about him cleaning it up. Get you and your kiddo out of that situation altogether. Sit your foot down. Rehab and continued sobriety or divorce. End of.
…. I’m sorry but.. what?
I sincerely clicked on this expecting it to be a joke. It apparently is not. Uh… unless his body is non-functional, what the actual hell? What on earth is he doing getting so drunk he’s pissing himself at HOME? The only people I know that have peed on themselves randomly and somewhat unknowingly (they seemed genuinely confused) were so shitfaced it was absolutely obvious they had a serious drinking problem and needed help.
Your husband needs treatment… pissing all over your house is absolutely unacceptable and disgusting. I would make that an ultimatum honestly. You will either stop drinking to the point you’re pissing yourself or your butt is going to treatment. Period.
Have you ever taken his blood alcohol level? My sister had a breathalyzer for her ex husband. He had to hit it before he could do visitations. I would be curious HOW far he’s going… because it’s obviously way too far.
You’re NTA, but your husband needs help. That’s not normal behavior and he is destroying his body like that.
I will say that I grew up in a house with a dad that did this and it was pretty awful. By my teenage years I smelled vaguely like his urine all the time (probably from accidentally sitting on couch cushions after he urinated, having my clothes washed with his, etc). I had few friends that would put up with it, low self esteem, anxiety over my odor, etc. It will permeate everything when repeatedly done and it’s nearly impossible to clean out of furniture. Also, my dad would wake up in his own urine and strip naked and fall back asleep. Sometimes he wandered into my room to sleep. It was mortifying for me.
If you have kids, kindly consider the long term implications of this behavior for them. Even if he is not abusive like my dad was when he drank.