I’m SO dissatisfied with my social life. I finished highschool in April and didn’t take out any friendships from there. I’m mad lonely. I want to find friends my age and with shared interests, kind of sportsy&outdoorsy. It’s very hard for me to do because at my age (18 in a month) people are either still in highschool or already in university. My city has a very judgy culture for people who take gap years/don’t go to uni, so that’s a first obstacle as a lot of people my age fall into that. Another one is that although I don’t mind a bit of alcohol, I strongly disapprove of smoking and heavy drinking, and don’t really want friends who are too much into that.
I’d love just a group of friends who hang out together. I don’t want internet friendships, it’s not fulfilling for me at all. I need to find and have friends irl. How do I do this? It’s a very new situation for me.
I should mention that as of recently I have a job and although I already really like most of my coworkers, they are neither my age or my kind of people enough for an out-of-work friendship. My job is very time-consuming and it makes it impossible for me to go to any group sport practice or other regular activity group.
TLDR: I’m out of school but not yet in uni. I have a VERY poor social life and want to make some new irl friends, but I’m struggling to come up with a way to do that
4 comments
Try a kickball league. Or a softball league. Or a hiking group, or a pottery group.
The unfortunate reality is that you now need to identify what you like and take steps to find organized events related to that so you can actually make friends. School forces this so we don’t tend to learn how to find it until it’s a requirement, which sucks
The fact that you aren’t friends with anyone from high school is a bit unusual. I’d suggest reading the book “friendships don’t just happen” by shasta nelson. It helps you to go into situations looking for friends and figure out how to guide and develop those friendships.
I’d also suggest that you are sounding very standoffish and hard to know from this post. That is not a major character flaw at your age (making judgements is part of adolescent identity creation) but you might be restricting yourself unnecessarily. You might benefit from deepening acquaintances even with people that you initially think are not 100% aligned with your view of what you want your friends to be.
If you like sports you should definitely join a club league! They seem to be all over the place and i know so many people who make friends this way. You’re a good age for making friends too, a lot of high-school friend ships tend to fade after graduation and people find new friend groups. Good luck!
I’m 30 but I was finding myself in a similar situation. Most of my friends were from school or coworkers but not good enough that once I left that job they would stay friends. So I was lonely and working from home and I went on the Meetup app and put myself out there. And my best friend was from there I love this person and ive made many others from other clubs I still want to make more connections bit it’s helped me a lot . I joined a tennis, soccer team and 2 bookclubs