(25f) I think I might be seriously depressed and I want to date and meet new people but am so sad all the time- is it even possible?

4 comments

1. first things first; therapy please. take care!

2. Dr. John Delony has a saying “We are lonelying ourselves to death!” and it’s true. Humans are social creatures. We aren’t meant to be alone. Find some people you can have real conversations with. People you can point out their flaws to, and people who can point out your own flaws. Find people you can disagree and talk through that disagreement with. Work on yourself so that you can get to a point that a single fight with someone doesn’t mean you stop speaking to them forever.

   How you accomplish these goals is entirely up to you, but this is what you must do to become a better version of yourself.

   Also, because it is a concern of yours, 133lbs at 5’7 is 100% within the healthy weight range. You don’t need to worry about gaining or losing weight, just maintain, which you appear to do. If you want to ‘look hotter’, go to a gym and lift heavy weights. “I don’t wanna get buff” you won’t. You’re a girl. You’d have to do Stronglifts 5×5 every day for 2 years to get the same gains a male would get in 2 months. You can touch a heavy weight and fill out. I’d actually recommend starting with Stronglifts 5×5 if toning is your goal.

3. Try to find a hobby that you truly enjoy where there is other people you’d be able to date, but don’t show up with the intention to merely meet someone; instead give yourself the chance to bond with someone over a shared activity. If you don’t find that person at least you are still socializing and enjoying your time.

4. I don’t need or believe in love anymore but that’s just me. Anyway, back to your post.

   You kinda sound like a perfectionist. If so then welcome to my world. I used to wait for that perfect moment, sweet spot that I’ll start dating again once I lose weight, improve my health, finances etc – in other words – I’ll become the Iron Man or Super Sayian 3… There’s that comfort zone knocking my mental door again like I need a soulmate because I’ve been in hermit mode for almost 8 years.

   Another thing stopping me from dating is if I’m tough enough to accept potential loss, rejection, time, nerves and let’s be honest – money, because I prefer taking a walk rather than dining out 24/7 while dating.

   And I still think I’ll lose time instead focusing on my career but at the same time I’m torn between this and my lack of creativity. It’s a double edged sword because whenever I was happy in a relationship I started procrastinating even more. I hate that comfort zone and could never find a perfect balance between pleasure and work. I need some fresh air, hard reset, mental boost and I gotta revalue my life once again.