My girlfriend has anger issues
I think my girlfriend has anger issues
My girlfriend(F23) cannot have a normal conversation regarding her feelings or how other people feel about what she says or does. Whenever I(M25) try to express negative emotions produced by her actions, in a polite way so as to have a conversation about that, she ends up spiraling out of control, yelling, being sarcastic and dismissive of my emotions.
Now this is something I would be willing to combat over the course of our relationship, I already did for 1 year, but lately it is getting out of control more often than not, and it scares me. I love this person, but she is totally transforming into an unforgiving, unapologetic, mad character, as if she is constantly on edge.
One more thing, she has the tendency to escalate the situation whenever anyone, not just me, does not agree with her, and we’ve had a conversation in the past where she stated that there should never be consequences to her actions, which is a huge red flag in my book, but I could use a different opinion.
I could really use some advice…
TL;DR
My girlfriend gets mad whenever I express negative emotions, and tends to spiral out of control being hurtful.
Need advice.
10 comments
Yes, this is definitely a big red flag in my book too. It’s true that relationships are about compromise and sometimes that means kind of rolling up your sleeves and dealing with some of the other person’s shit with them, you should never be the target of them yelling, insulting you, belittling or stonewalling your perspective, refusing to listen to you, etc. You can’t actually have a healthy relationship with someone like this because natural disagreements will always happen and you guys need to be able to talk it out. When the dynamic is like this, it makes you want to stop sharing how you feel with her and that’s a real shame, you read like a decent guy who is able to listen and compromise, you deserve the same in a partner. If you want to help her you could gently give her this constructive criticism on the way out the door because no-one will want to be in a relationship with someone like this.
This appears to be an issue of hers across the board, Op.
*she stated that there should never be consequences to her actions*
Yeah~~~Op. So, when you (or anyone) calls her on her bad behavior she
*ends up spiraling out of control, yelling, being sarcastic and dismissive of my emotions*
She becomes erratic, yelling, sarcasm and dismissive.
You can’t fix her, Op. He!!, Freud himself can’t help anyone that doesn’t believe they have a problem at all.
Honestly, OP? Give it up and break up with her. From her point of view, YOU have the problem so sit down and shut the he11 up! Lol. Jk.
Good luck, Op. (Really, break up with her.)
Anger issues do not get better. She will only get worse unless she gets in to see a therapist.
This is beyond your pay grade to fix. She’s behaving in an unacceptable way that’s going to require a lot more than you can do to help her solve.
> she stated that there should never be consequences to her actions
Prove her wrong by bailing on this abusive one-sided “relationship “
Wow I wonder if her parents never gave her consequences for actions…maybe that’s where she learned this. This is an impossible situation. I’m surprised she’s able to keep friends acting like this.
Advice: ditch her unless you feel like spending the rest of your life apologizing and defending yourself.
Your job is not to fix her, btw.
B.r.e.a.k.U.p.W.i.t.hH.e.r. You don’t owe this person anything, and her behavior is only going to escalate. Sounds like she has a personality disorder, like narcissism.
When you do break up, do it in a public place with a witness. Maybe record audio on your phone in case she tries something.
>Now this is something I would be willing to combat over the course of our relationship, I already did for 1 year
1 year. Nothing improved. Love is not enough to stay with a toxic person.
Guys, thank you so much for the support. She beat me to it, saying that this is doing more harm for her than good. I couldn’t agree more. Let her know I’ll pick up my stuff by the end of the week. I also told her that I believe she should go to therapy and I didn’t say that out of spite or something.
Feels like my world ended, but not as much I thought. Turns out, I might be able to sleep a bit better now.
Thank you all ❤️