Hi, I made a post here a few days about a friend who only really seemed interested in talking over text. I got some excellent advice which helped some but I’m more confused than ever now.
We have made plans to meet 4 times now, and she has cancelled everytime. Except for this one time, where I had to wait a few while she finished her class and we went for a coffee.
She also almost never initiates conversations in-person. It’s like I’m invisible or something. I have tried sitting beside her and she just goes silent. She is isn’t like that with some other guys.
But, it’s the total opposite online, she sends me pictures of her art, her pets.
I don’t know what to do tbh. She asked me if I like to play badminton then cancelled last minute. When I do initiate a conversation, we do have good time(atleast from what i notice). Should I just stop bothering with her?
1 comment
Is she worth it?
If so, it sounds to me like you need to build attraction and buy-in before you make plans. There are a few steps you could take to do that, but all of them have more nuance than a reddit thread could provide.
If no, then simply move on. You’ll free up time and energy for other friends.
A lot of people struggle with social anxiety, and it is way easier for them to talk behind a screen than it is to talk in person. She may be experiencing nervousness, fear, doubt, uncertainty, or any other emotion that keeps her from hanging out. But you can’t control that. You can only control your state and improve your own social skills and ability to attract people towards you.
Hope this helps. Let me know what you decide!!!