So there’s a girl that I work with that I’ve liked for a while and we’ve become friends over the past few months. A few weeks ago we went on a hike and had lots of fun, we sat and talked on a bench watching the sunset for a while. She loves to read and recently gave me some book recommendations that i really liked and have gotten me back into reading. We have another hike planned for this week and I was thinking of asking her out by giving her a book with a note in it talking about how I really enjoy being around her and that I think she is an amazing person and I would like to take her out on date. I already have the book I want to give her and think she’ll really like it. I’m just not sure if this is the best way to ask her out, maybe it would better to do it in person but I want it to be different and special. Would you like to be asked out this way? Also if I do it this way, should I make the note obvious so she reads it when I give it to her or should I have it kind of hidden so she finds it when she gets home? Thanks for any advice you can give me!!
12 comments
Sounds like you’ve already been out on ‘dates’. I’d say that’s a cute way of asking her something. Hiding it in a book. Depends if she reads it and depends what you ask.
A little cringe but it is sure to make her smile
you had me going for a second with the “love confession” phrase in your title
a mere offer to date seems innocuous enough
I would say it’s ok to gift her that book but without some obvious note. If she happens to like it and react in a positive way then you may use that as a chance to say how you would like to go on a dinner together or whatever else.
I say that this cuz in the case that she doesn’t see you in the same way, a gift + whole confession of your feelings/intentions might be overwhelming and awkward for her.
Women usually like you being direct, so ask her out directly. After the date, give her the book with a note saying how much fun you had and discussing something fun that happened on the date.
I would advise against it. I’m willing to bet you are firmly in the friend zone. You’ll dig yourself into an even deeper hole if you give her gifts and ask her out in a passive way, like a note.
Best way out of this is to ask her out for drinks towards the end of the hike. Make it later that night so you can go your separate ways, freshen up, and meet up for drinks. If she accepts and you’re out for drinks, have fun, be flirty, and if the signs are there, hopefully you can make some type of romantic physical connection.
Do not accept an offer of friendship if you have romantic intentions. It will only hurt you in the long run.
No.
No.
That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve read here today
If someone did this for me, I would adore. Worst case scenario she doesn’t have the same feelings. But so what? You took the time to think of asking her in a way that is tailored to her. I think that’s so romantic and is such a sweet gesture.
I’m also a woman who enjoys reading. I feel special when people take the time to read my recommendations.
I think gifting her the book is a lovely idea. But the love confession, not so much. Maybe you could write something else inside of it, but more subtle.
If you already have been hanging out outside of work, there is a chance she feels the same way about you. Maybe you could try to tell her how you feel at one of your dates. But not in the middle of the hike.
Cringy, creepy, and immature. Just ask with words.