We got married three years ago and have been together for eight.

Lately he’s started to get a little distant. He wasn’t there for me sexually. Whatever, that happens. Eventually, he started to leave emotionally as well.

I had my suspicions, but I ruled them out as paranoia. Last night he was staying late at work. He does it often enough so that wasn’t an issue in my mind. The problem came when he said he’d be home by 1am and wasn’t at 2am. I called him a few times. He didn’t answer.

Then at around 3 I get a call back. A woman tells me to stop calling because I’m ‘ruining it’. She gives the phone to my husband and he tells me to ‘just fuck off’.

I thought we had a good relationship and I don’t understand anything. If he wasn’t happy why didn’t he say something? Why would he expose himself to me? I don’t understand.

Edit: I had my bags packed already. He came home a little while ago. She was with him. Turns out it’s my coworker he’s been cheating on me with.

I’m staying in a hotel for the night.

Edit 2: They were also having sex when they called me and told me to fuck off, if that makes a difference.

41 comments

  2. Sounds like a real asshole. Please don’t blame yourself, or spend your time. Wondering why he didn’t do things differently. The damage is done and he made his choices, and now you get to be free and go find someone who will treat you worlds better.

  3. Wow they sound like they where made for each other.

    OP I’m so sorry. Contact your friends and family now. This isn’t something to be embarrassed about, you have nothing to be embarrassed for. More importantly make sure you look after yourself during this period. You will be in shock and likely wont be eating. Make sure you do, even if you don’t feel like it. You need to be at your physical best to get past this and not slip into depression. Surround yourself with love and comfort and make sure you speak to people you love and trust.

  5. That’s a terrible way to be treated. You need to get a lawyer. You say u recently moved, if you have any way of moving back I woukd ASAP. Leave him and look after yourself. Best if luck.

  6. Was he drunk?

    He doesn’t care enough to hide it anymore. He also allowed his AP to speak to you and then verbally abused& disrespected you in front of her. The fact he hasn’t come home says it all. He doesn’t care about the consequences of what happened.

    If you have only moved what is the situation with your home? Do you own it or rent it.

    If you moved back would you have a support network of family & friends?

  7. This is absolutely terrible. You got this though, and you’re strong enough to kick this asshole to the curb. Do not move out, get an attorney asap.

  8. Holy shit your husband is a real piece of dog shit. Personally I would try and give a video of her verbally berating you in YOUR home and show it to your boss, HR, and coworkers, then quit. Most companies don’t want to employ people who recklessly destroy the lives of their coworkers. Not great for morale.

    I’d also let your mutual friends and his family know. Lawyer up and get out. This dude is worthless

  11. Yikes.. just look at the small bright side at least you don’t have any kids with asshole. You seem like a sweet person you’ll find someone that’ll treat you amazingly and he’ll be a loser scum wishing he count get you back.

  13. Sounds like those horrible people are a good fit, sorry that happened to you. Don’t get back with him, he shows no remorse even if they do I don’t think you should get back with cheaters. You should know it’s not you that’s the problem, it’s him and that you deserve better don’t forget that.

  15. Go back home, collect anything you might’ve forgotten, take pictures of them together if you can, leave and tell everyone you can what they’ve done. You’re married and have been living there, he can’t legally refuse you access since you’re his wife, even if he owns the place.

  17. If its any consolation at some point, these cruel as fuck assholes will end up doing the same thing to each other eventually.

  18. These two are pieces of shit and they deserve each other. I hope you can make a quick getaway and get your life back on track.

  19. Get your credit locked down, get your own bank account. Change your direct deposit to the new account. Resist the urge to drain any bank accounts but I think you may be entitled to half.

    I am sorry you’re going through this. They both suck.

  20. Oh I’d be thinking of so many ways of torturing them, like getting her phone # and having people send her mass messages

    Or have anonymous complaints filed against her at the school

    Him..I’d do everything in my power to make him miserable as well then peace out to home

  21. With YOUR Co worker?! What the fuck?! I’m glad you packed your bags and left. I can’t believe he could be so heartless to even bring her to your house! Divorce him, and if there are no kids involved, completely cut off contact with him. That’s fucked up. They’re both fucked up. And I agree with you that if he wasn’t happy why couldn’t be grow some balls and say so instead of doing this to you?! I’m sorry you’re going through this OP.

  22. They’re both evil shits. The school will fire their asses once you give them evidence

  24. If it’s any consolation, they won’t last. My ex husband cheated on me, which led to our divorce. He swore he was in love with her. That was a hard pill to swallow. Less than 6 months later he caught ther cheating. He then came to my house expecting sympathy(?). I laughed in his face and closed the door. We were married 9 years, special needs child. It was a fucking mess. Get out now, it will only get worse. You deserve better.

  26. Not sure I believe these posts anymore. Third/fourth post i’ve read recently with a chesting scenario and WHs house is inherited so BS has to leave.

  27. I am so sorry to hear this it breaks my heart. The cheating part yeah but the part where they act like they don’t even care after so many years.
    The best advice I can give is to just let it go and start a new life. Don’t let him know you’re hurting. Hurt and hurt as much as you need and let yourself heal, but don’t stay down for too long.
    Remember, the same way he got her is the same way he will lose her as well. He will do it to her.

  29. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
    Please remember that cheating was a choice HE made, you don’t deserve any of the blame.

    Unfortunately people have a tendency to justify other people’s actions through their own.
    HE made a choice that reflects his character and moral values and it’s entirely his fault.

    Im here for emotional support of you feel like you need some, being far away from a friendly environment that is.

  30. Too bad you can’t save that phone call. Really sorry OP.

    If there’s a silver lining, it’s that it wil be a clean break. No what ifs. He made it easy for you in that regard even if it was in the most asshole way possible

  31. Wow, well she definitely does deserve a cheater, so let her stay with him. Men like that don’t change.

  32. Oh hell no OP! Call the non emergency line an ask for a police escort back to ur house. U need to grab ALL ur stuff so this homewrecker doesn’t try to pawn off any of it. While there get photos of them together. Particularly HER. Show them to ur boss, family, colleagues etc hell blast her ass an his on the internet as cheater an homewrecker. Then watch the fires of hell burn around them. 😈

  33. Whaaaaaat the actuaaaal fooooock. Bro….. some humans are capable of unimaginable things. How…. HOW ON GOD DAMN EARTH can you just casually decide to absolutely demolish your BELOVED WIFE outta nowhere?! WHY? HOW? What was that sick, diagusting and absolutely degenerated phone call? I would not even do this to my enemy. This is next level cheating.

    Wow…. sorry, i cant understand it neither. Im sorry for you, it must be like a ridicilous but very painful nightmare for you.

  34. You could do what my college professor did when she found out that her husband (the athletic director) cheated on her with another teacher and just announce it at a rally which caused the cheating pair to be fired xD.

    But in all seriousness OP, leave him and never look back.

  35. What a waste of life your husband is. Get far far away from this psychopath. You deserve miles better.
    You’re young, you have a career, you can make a beautiful life for yourself without this garbage while he cheats on her with the next woman.

  36. This is all really fucked, but I can’t help but wonder why didn’t he just turn off his phone?

  37. I hope you manage to ruin more than “it” for those two scumbuckets. Fight for your rights, girl, and don’t back down.

  38. This made me so sick to my stomach to read. I feel for you on so many levels and know you’ll get through this, I know it stings and feels horrible right now but there will be light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sorry you had to find out this way, I don’t understand how someone could be so heartless. My thoughts are with you đŸ„ș

  39. Well, the good thing here is that this is a clean and obvious end. No second guessing, no prolonged trying to make it work. You drop the cold steel curtain, zero contact, only your attorney deals with him. Have some fun while you process, then keep going into your next chapter.

  41. The affair partner always feels powerful when they get their prize, not realizing their days are numbered.

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