What are your feelings about either partner watching porn in a relationship/marraige? Should your partner feel guilty for it?

26 comments

  1. In general I think it’s okay. Unfortunately we recently discovered one of us is a porn addict so now its something that’s not okay and we’re trying to live without

  2. As long as it doesn’t interfere with our sex lives together, no one cares. We also use it together sometimes as part of foreplay.

  4. I think it all depends on what both people in the relationship are ok with. I do think many people are not aware of the damage porn can cause. Like drinking or weed. Totally fine and healthy in moderation for most right? But some people can grow dependent on it, use it to cope, or it can impact their relationships.

    But it’s definitely a problem if a partner is saying they don’t feel comfortable with it and the person doesn’t see it that way snd continues doing it. That is a clearly showing they don’t care how you feel about it and in that case I’d suggest thinking if this id the relationship you want?

    For me personally, I am not ok with any porn or disrespect (following sexual content, looking up sexual content, using anything for sexual gratification behind my back). So my husband doesn’t engage in any of that behavior unless he wants to end this marriage. But to each their own.

    At the end of the day it’s doesn’t matter what I or anyone else thinks of it. What matters is how you think snd feel about it. If you don’t want porn a part of your relationship that’s totally fine and acceptable and if you do that’s fine too.

  5. So long as both partners sexual needs are being satisfied, there is nothing wrong with porn.

  6. I love porn if it’s something my partner and I are watching together. I like to mimic the scenes/role play during sex. It’s exciting to spice up the bedroom with random porn nights.

  8. I never minded it until it became a replacement for intimacy. But he won’t stop watching it frequently and acts like I’m shaming him if I bring up concerns. I’m not shaming, he knows I’m not antiporn nor have I ever asked him to stop completely. that’s just an excuse people use to ignore the pain overuse of porn can create in a relationship. Like most things, it’s only good in moderation.

  9. There are a lot of super anti-pornography people on this sub, and it seems to me that they invariably say things like “I don’t compete with girls on a screen,” and that strikes me as really weird, but maybe explanatory.

    If you find yourself preferring pornography over sexual relations with your significant other, I’d say that’s a pretty serious problem. Prior to reading so many others’ anti-pornography stances, I had never even conceived of this possibility, so it struck me as pretty insane to oppose it on those grounds, but I guess if that’s actually happening, that’s another story.

    Of course, if you find yourself in that situation, it’s likely that the person watching the pornography has some serious issues which extend beyond pornography, so the whole anti-pornography thing seems like, at best, a proxy war.

    So yeah.. seems like the sane position is: if you watch porn like a normal person (you know.. if your significant other is tired and going to bed and you just need to take matters into your own hands for the night or something), and you’re not actually lusting after pornstars like a loon, then whatever. If, on the other hand, you’re actually fantasizing about or obsessing over the pornstars or preferring pornography to intimacy with your partner for whatever reason…uh…I guess: don’t do that. Seek professional help if you need it.

    It appears to me to be an issue people dramatically overcomplicate, likely because they’ve had or know others who’ve had serious relationship issues in which pornography became a proxy for the real problems.

  10. I don’t mind it as long as it’s one sided and not interactive, and doesn’t interfere with our sex life. I trust my partner to make good decisions that respect my feelings towards sexual visuals and to be quite frank, how and when he touches his own body is none of my business.

  12. So my husband has never been into it (and yes, I believe him). We BOTH personally feel as if it goes against our values to actively seek out others for sexual gratification, and that includes porn for individual use. I’ve never told him he can’t watch it, and we have watched it together (not my thing). We have a wonderful and open sex life. I would be upset if he started to watch it by himself because it’s just not him. I have negative feelings about the industry itself, I think it’s very exploitative to women. I’m not worried about comparing to other women, I’m fine with discussing other attractive people with my husband. Masturbation is fine, my husband has plenty of pictures of me (professional and selfies).

  13. Both my husband and I see it as a no-no. He doesn’t care for it at all. We often talk about this and other issues to see if we are still aligned though.

  14. We both stay away from porn, we believe marriages are more fulfilling and easier to manage without it. But if you think of sex as just fulfilling a drive then you might have a different opinion.

  15. Porn is a slippery slope. I’m glad my husband doesn’t watch it. I dated a guy who was addicted to porn and it was the worst relationship I had ever been in.

  16. I personally don’t like watching porn at all, it actually creeps me out and makes me feel sick. My husband says he doesn’t watch it either but I’ve always wondered if he just says that because I’m open about how I feel.

  17. Neither of us watch porn. Neither of us want the other watching porn. We feel it goes against our values, and we have struggled in the past with our different sex drives. Porn can become a replacement for intimacy, and we both believe it would be best to address the root problems in our intimate lives.

  18. It’s a no for me. I’d rather be single than be with someone who requires porn use. Porn is terribly degrading to the women and children being exploited, and I don’t think the world realizes how damaging it can be, not only for the victims, but also on the human brain (causing PIED, reduced gray matter in brain, anxiety, depression and unrealistic expectations about real sex).

  19. Porn is considered being unfaithful in our marriage. We agree to reserve sexual activity for each other not for watching strangers have sex

  22. Everything is wrong with porn..porn should not exit nor should it be consumed…because some people can consumed it n be ok wit it doesn’t make it ok..I am not a Saint.. I was exposed to porn when I was 10 years old..i have first hand knowledge of the damage it can do.. am fighting back but it’s an unending struggle with it.. so I wld say I know a bit about what am talking about….

  23. One evening my wife and I were talking about porn. She doesn’t like it but I enjoyed it. During that conversation, she started to get upset about me watching (which caught both of us by surprise) but said she didn’t want to tell me not to watch because it wasn’t her place to do that. Seeing her like that was all I needed to stop watching. I haven’t watched since that day.

  24. Male porn use ruined my last 2 relationships so I don’t see myself marrying a man who watches porn. 🙁

  25. Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I think of it as a lesser form of cheating. My husband should get his sexual satisfaction from me and I should get mine from him. I cannot compete with the physical appearance of the women in porn and I don’t think it is right for a husband to lust after other women.

  26. Porn is like any other addictive substance. It perverts the natural sex drive and distorts the mind. It turns people into your personal sex toys in your mind. Sex is to bring a married couple closer together and to have children. Divorcing these purposes from the sexual act and from orgasm destroys the soul. 0/10 do not do it

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