so i have just found out that the 3 month’s salary thing isn’t a tradition but rather a marketing campaign by de beers diamond company. have asked people i know and the variation in price is wild. what are your thoughts?

41 comments

  2. I would have it custom-made, and not your standard ring found in goldsmiths. and It would cost less than a PS5

  3. I spent £2.5k, which was years ago when I was on £1.7k a month.

    I would have spent more of I could have afforded it, and if the ring looked like it was worth it.

  4. I spent £60 on an engagement ring because it is from a local independent jeweller and my wife really liked it*. I’m not gonna spend thousands of quid on an engagement ring bugger that.

    Edit* – I mean that she had already pointed out millions of times that she really liked it and knew how much it cost. Not in a “pretend it was expensive” way

  7. Gay so get to save on engagement ring scam.

    If my partner expected 3 months salary we wouldn’t be getting married. That’s fucking absurd.

  8. I remember it in the 80s as being “one month’s salary”. That’s some inflation. They are having a laugh.

  10. £1200, not from an independent. She loves it. Fuck 3 month’s salary, more like 3 weeks for me 🤣

    Side story: a hairdresser said to me about the 3 month salary thing in a way that was kind of saying “my bf better spend that on me”. She quietened down though when I said in jest “isn’t it the bride’s parents that pay for the wedding anyway?”

  12. I don’t like wearing rings and would be mildly peeved to receive one so £0

    But I’d love a copper bath or an eiderdown instead, something we’d both use and appreciate

  14. I paid £425 for a custom made diamond ring, and that was 19 years ago. I was a student at the time, in my final year of uni.

    I once got into an argument with a colleague because I’d “only” paid that little. He was so derisive about me not spending thousands on it. I nearly climbed over the restaurant table to explain things to him… He was minted, though, and had no perspective on money.

  15. As a single woman, if someone ever proposes to me I’m much less fussed about the price, but more about a ring that I’ll always want to wear. I’d rather a £50 ring I’ll wear all the time than a £5000 ring I’m not bothered by.

  16. Had one made for 1200 but that didn’t include the stone which was a sapphire taken from a relatives ring.

  17. Spent £3.5k which went on a credit card

    Making £22k at the time.

    I was very silly with money when I was younger.

  18. 2.1k but only because my fiance would point it out everything we walked past the jewelers… helped that my brothers fiance is the assistant manager at that particular shop.

    Also, we’ve found we can’t afford to get married, in todays climate anyway. So egg on our faces…

  19. My husband spent around £600-£700 on mine but the jewellers mucked him about so he got a bit of a discount

    I asked for a cluster ring with no main stone to keep cost down. Would be nervous to wear a £5k ring!

  20. Me and my wife (17 years marriage now), due to poor financial situations at that moment, choose to buy something simple for wedding, so we get a pair of 18 k gold bands for 150£.
    What is behind those wedding bands worth much more.

  23. I got engaged in 2008. It was one months salary back then. I’m a freelance musician, so I chose January…..

  24. You will get it wrong.. propose with a Haribo ring/ring pop or one of those joke rings from Poundland and then let them choose.

  25. I had 2 engagement rings for my wife, and in total cost me about £30 I think? One was her grans, which I needed to resize (that was the £30) the other was her great aunt’s, which just fit (she has scars on her fingers which were aggravated by her grans ring, and was actually much closer with her great aunt anyway!)

    My FiL gave me both of them for “just in case” lol

    The “engagement ring’s need to be expensive” thing is BS – just like “weddings need to be expensive”. As long as it suits their taste, that *should* be the important thing. It’s never going to be a great start if you kick off your married life with a load of debt or stressing about saving X amount of money, and if that’s the most important thing to the person you propose to, they might not be the right person!

  26. Mine cost £1000 I love it and have worn it everyday since I got it 8 years ago so compared to other jewelry I have totally worth it. My brother just bought one for £4000 which is absolutely gorgeous but personally I’d be worried about walking around with something so valuabl, my dads just proposed with one for £20,000 but he gives them out like lollipops so I don’t really think his opinion on anything to do with weddings counts really. My best friend has one that was a couple of hundred and it very pretty, she’s happy with it and its quite quirky and suits her perfectly.

    I don’t think there’s a right or wrong amount really so long as you arent going bankrupt for it.

  27. Spent £900 on mine. We met on our mutual friends birthday and it just so happens she designs and make jewellery so we commissioned her to make all our rings. Went for platinum and a sapphire. She did me a deal so I paid wholesale, which saved me a fair bit.

    Some of my friends had inherited rings, others bought directly from a shop or knew jewelers who sorted them out. Seen people spend anything from £40/50 upto a few grand (which seems obscene personally)

  28. Engagement ring was about £100. Simple, plain, classic. Wedding rings were £1000 each and we picked them together and they’re matched as far as they can be. We didn’t need to spend that much, we debated it, but we’d been together over 10 years by that point and wanted something special.

  29. I think it was around £5300, something like 2 months takehome at the time. She really loves it and we were always going to have a very small wedding so I was fine with the cost.

    If she had proposed to me then I’d have been happy with no ring as I’m not a fan of wearing them at all.

  30. I spent £300 coz that was all I had in the bank at the time. She never complained, never takes it off and even though I could afford something more expensive now, she won’t have it replaced.

  31. £15 from a souvenir shop in Brecon. It’s silver with a carnelian stone and we chose it because it matched a pair of earrings that i already had (the first present he ever bought me). I lost the earrings years ago but the ring’s still on my finger. It was our twenty first wedding anniversary this July.

  32. We kinda skipped the engagement bit as we decided to get married at Gretna Green so instead I chose a wedding/engagement hybrid type ring. It’s a vine style, rose gold, diamond wedding band that cost £650. If I were to have a “proper” engagement ring I’d rather pick something that I really liked and was somewhat unique for £50 than a standard issue £3k type.

  33. Mine was £15, I’ve been blissfully married for 22 years.

    Talk about it with your partner. What are both of your expectations, wants, etc. There is no “right” answer.

  34. Etsy is perfect for not spending a bomb if you don’t want a typical jewelers wedding band that’s gold with diamonds (no judgement on that but like anything wedding related, anything engagement or wedding related more expensive).

    We went through designs, styles, metals, stones that I like and dislike. My fiancée chose my ring based on what I’d said and I don’t know exactly how much it was. It’s perfect and from looking at the sites was a few hundred.

  35. If she thinks a ring is worth putting you through any financial hardship at all – don’t marry her.

  36. Mine was just over a grand. Bought second hand from a lovely old fashioned jewellery shop in Hatton Garden. The woman in the shop made it a lovely experience for us both, bless her. I think people think Hatton Garden is ££££ and it doesn’t have to be.

    Thrilled with my second hand sapphire ring from the 1950s.

    I think for men you need to know if your future wife is (a) the type of woman who wants you to choose the ring and surprise her with it, or (b) a woman who wants to go to a shop and CHOOSE HER OWN. Caps for emphasis as I am absolutely someone who wanted to try things on and choose, and my husband knew that. And this was not to do with expense, I just wanted to browse.

  37. Spend what you can afford . Fuck all that must be this and that . Got rings married and pissed for well under 1k easily . Best day ever

  38. Don’t know what mine cost as it was sourced and made through a diamond dealer but valued at £35k. I lucked out comparatively as the wedding band my husband wanted cost me around £2500. We both figured we wanted something we’d be happy wearing forever. He’s offered me upgrades a few times but I would never change my ring.

    Edit to add, thanks for the downvote whoever that was. I thought this was about what people pay for their rings, not judging each other 🫤

  39. Personally, I think that’s a discussion to be had with your partner and have realistic expectations.

    Some people want a big flashy ring and others might not even want an engagement ring and would rather that money go into the wedding fund or something.

    It depends on the person and couple.

  40. My ring was £380 – it’s a lab-grown Alexandrite in a twisted white gold band. Very pretty and delicate, plus from an independent jewelry crafter so it was supporting a smaller business too, which I think is nice.

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