I don’t mind that he’s smaller, but the medium sized condoms he uses keep sliding off or getting lost in me – which gets scary for obvious reasons. I don’t want to tell him to get “the small ones” as that implies something about his physical aspects that society relates to this concept of “manhood”, thus will likely make him insecure.

What’s the best approach here? Maybe I could buy condoms for him, then toss the box?

Edit: I know that, in terms of value based ethics – for the sake of honesty and open communication – it’s best if I just told him what the issue was, and theoretically he’d understand that the problem isn’t with him or with my pleasure, rather it’s the pregnancy risk. The issue with that is, we live in a society that… humours small dick jokes, it’s not even commonplace to question the ethics and potential repercussions of placing such emphasis on the size of a cis man’s genitalia. If I were to be honest, this would haunt him. He doesn’t deserve that.
I can’t change society, I can only act in accordance to its norms. Honesty is the best policy until it significantly harms, and I don’t want to harm him.

(Just as a woman’s vulva shouldn’t define her worth, a man’s penis shouldn’t do so either, nonetheless comments in regards to one’s genitalia can hurt, ig that’s the point I was trying to get across)

Also someone explain why this post blew up lmfao

49 comments

  2. 32f here – maybe give him the benefit of the doubt? Maybe he doesn’t know he is using too big of condoms. And it won’t hurt to lead by saying you are satisfied with the size of his cock.

  3. Maybe tell him he got the wrong “type” of condoms and buy a diff brand with a diff size. Tell him that’s your preferred brand.

  4. I’d just say that the sex is great but the condoms slipping off is distracting and suggest he gets a different size.

  5. I would just buy them and ask him to try them…maybe say they are ‘contoured’ and supposed to fit better and have more sensation. You should be able to find a brand that doesn’t have an awkward name. Lol.

    I also think what another poster said is fine, just tell him the sex is great but it freaks out when the condom slips off and suggest you try a different one.

    Last suggestion, you might try the regular Trojan bareskin as they have a snugger fit without actually being the small size.

  6. Make him THINK. He must realize that the condoms are slipping off..
    Ask him “hey? Ehm. Is there a reason why the condoms are slipping off?” Or yeah.. buy some other ones and ask him to put them on… just… tell him they feel nicer on you… yes it is a little white lie…

    But I could not imagine him taking it greatly just saying that the “condoms are too big”. And I’m saying this as someone who also struggles with his manhood even though, women have also told me that’s “it’s all good.”

    Some men want to be able to provide pleasure… BADLY. And if we feel like it’s just not enough.. it can take a toll on the self esteem.

  7. Get them yourself it will save you both the argument just let him know you bought condoms you want to try or something. That way he doesn’t take the emotional hit

  9. Talk to him. You seem to be aware of the complexity of the subject. He is probably aware of it, with the condom slipping of and all. Telling him that you do not mind his size (maybe workshop the phrasing abit) could be reliving/reassuring.

  11. I would get them myself. He may not know though. I have a hard time finding ones that fit me as I am not small. So I get where he is coming from. Try talking to him

  12. Just talk to him directly. He already knows he is smaller, no need to risk your safety to sugar coat it.

  14. Buy a dozen, lose the box, leave them on your drawer, use them every second one time to start with.

  16. My thighs steal condoms. You could use that as an excuse and suggest a tighter condom might help prevent it.

    You could also suggest a different brand… IronGrip is a brand specifically for tight fitting condoms.

    You could just buy new condoms and say you want to try these ones.

    You could go for the straightforward approach and say that the slippage issue makes you uncomfortable and so you’re suggesting y’all size down.

    Also, there are several reasons condoms slide. As I said — my thighs. Certain positions (read entry especially) make this more common. Also, if he goes a little soft during or when pulling out, it’s likely to slip. And if someone doesn’t hold the base when pulling out, same issue.

    You may need to change how you’re having sex to alleviate these issues.

  18. Stop sleeping with him until he does.

    You know this is playing with fire. Is his twenty second embarrassment worth 20 years of child support?

  19. I think the brand is Komodo? Thought they were just regular condoms. They are not. I don’t think they say anything about the size on the box either. Maybe try those?

  20. PSA… If you are blowing him before the condom goes on, the saliva is part of the problem. It causes slippage

  21. Does he have a noticeably small penis or could it be that he is leaving his penis in you too long and losing his erection?

    When I was in college, I got a condom stuck in me and the doctor suggested we try smaller condoms but my BF’s penis was average/not small. We did, however, have really long sex. It lasted forever/too long and I think it was because he was trying to get me to have an orgasm.

    I guess my point is his penis size may not be the issue.

  22. I’d probably be like, I don’t like how your condoms feel in me, and then buy the condoms his size

  23. Just talk to him directly about it. I will say though, give him the benefit of the doubt – don’t assume he’s doing this on purpose. Also don’t bring up that you think he might be insecure about his size unless he brings it up first.

    So basically just say “I’m worried about the condom always slipping out. Let’s try a smaller one”

    He’s either gonna react positively and be ok, or he’s gonna react a little negatively – “are you saying I got a small dick?” There’s no way to control how he’s gonna react, so be prepared to have this conversation.

  24. I’m a micro guy and my progression was regular to
    Japanese made (“extra sensitive”) to the semi-custom ones from MyOne. They are the best by far for really small guys IME

  25. You can definitely suggest getting the correct size, without saying “smaller”. Also, there is information online about correct condom sizing and use. Both of which will improve the sensation and use of condoms in general. You don’t go to the store and just randomly select clothing, you purchase the correct size. Sell the overall experience instead of focusing on the fact that the condoms he has been using are too large.

    Emphasize that a correct fitting condom will MAKE SEX FEEL BETTER.

  26. I also had a partner who was a small size, and the condoms that worked great for him were tastefully labeled as “snugger fit.” You could use that language to insist he get ones that fit him correctly. It’s very important that you do, if this is your only form of birth control then proper fit is essential!

  27. Ask him to buy the ultra-thin ones. They usually only come in smaller sizes (52 and 53mm nominal width). Tell him you want to “feel him” more, or something in that vein (no pun intended).

  28. The sizes vary widely among the brands and styles. You should look up one of the guides then use the brand of condoms that are too big for reference to pick a smaller one. I prefer a properly sized condom. Just buy them and say you wanna try them and don’t make a big deal of it.

  29. Perhaps something like “The condoms we’ve been using don’t seem to work very well, they keep slipping off, can we try these ones?” And show him some you’ve bought that are a smaller size

  30. Personally I would buy ones I think would fit and then say “I heard These will make our sex better” another option is female condoms they work very well.

  31. Check other brands of condoms, some have different names for the size or just numbers. They do it for the exact reason of your post.

  35. Buy the condoms, take them out of the package, have sex, if they work then show him the package and tell him to get those specific ones next time, because as was just proven, they work. Then leave it at that.

  36. Does the condom only slip off when he is done. Then it can be an issue with him not holding on to it while exiting. When a guy gets soft with a condom on it won’t fit good and can slip off.

  37. If there is need to softhandling vulnerable ego, split from him, he is not made for working relationships, he will be toxic in future more

  38. I don’t think there is an easy way to put it, at some point he is going to realise he needs smaller condoms.

    You can’t put your health at risk to save his ego.

    Maybe say something like, “I love having sex with you but I’d enjoy sex with you more of I wasn’t worrying about the condom slipping off, could we look into trying a brand that is a tighter fit?”.

    If he can trade off his small dick insecurity with the thought of making sex better for you it might ease him into the idea.

  39. Just go and buy the next size down. There is such a stigma about women’s boob size and men’s Penis size.

  40. you could tell him that you don’t think the condom fits him well and that there are some companies with sizing kits to find a better fit:

    every body is different so not everyone’s gonna fit in every “one size” product – there’s no shame in it

  41. Adults can have sex. Level two adults can talk about it. We need to get ones that fit since it’s risky when these end up in me

  42. I say finding a gentle way to tell him is smart. I would be way more direct like ripping off a bandaid. But that’s just my approach.

  43. I asked my wife once about my penis size she is honest to a fault and told me I was average which to her was a good thing and to me meant I was just some ordinary guy. With more conversation she told me her ex was bigger. Still haunts me 15 years later i tell her she could have lied a little but she refuses to lie ever lol the point is to be careful when you talk to him about it maybe suggest that he try a smaller size even though he doesn’t need it but maybe it will stay on better lol

  44. How old is he? I remember back in my teens all the guys carried Magnums to try to impress girls and each other. He’s gotta know he doesn’t fit the condoms he’s wearing if they keep sliding off. Be direct. “Hey, I’m not having sex with those condoms again because it’s dangerous.” Let him figure out the rest. You never even have to mention the size, but you could mention a particular condom that you prefer (one that doesn’t come in a large size).

  46. I understand that you don’t want to hurt him, but you’re gonna have to. It’s outside of your control, all you can do is hurt him as least as possible. Do that by telling him nicely, the size he’s buying is creating problems, therefore get the smaller size. Tell him nicely and emphasis this is purely the solution to a problem and not a reflection on anything else except possible dangers. He’ll probably be hurt because of what it means, but you can’t control that.

  47. Although, as many proposed buying them yourself is solving the issue, I believe that talking the problem out is a better way and increases the quality of relationships.

  49. You don’t want to chuck the box because if they fit better he won’t know what to get in future, and you don’t always want to be the one in charge of buying the condoms.
    Can’t you buy a tighter fit, the next time you have sex before he can get one out just say “oh I’ve got these” and maybe have them at hand. He doesn’t need to see the size at this point. Afterwards, if it’s fit better and you’re more comfortable with this, you could discuss that it felt better, and the proof could also be that it isn’t lost. You can then show him the box, that way you are both aware which is the better fit.

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