So I have a difficult time with intimacy and he knows that. When I first started giving him BJs he straight up said , and k quote him „ Your bjs are bad“. I cried a lot and and wrecked my head and my confidence level sank to 0. after a week weeks I felt confident enough and thought I did it better but yesterday he straight up said again „ Your bjs are bad but I like them because you are giving them“ I told him that that isn’t a compliment and cried a lot after that and I feel genuinely anxious now which I never had in my entire life. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety. He apologised but I still cannot get over it and have been crying for the past couple of days and that every day. I don’t know what to do. I ask him what I could do better but he is giving me unclear answers and I even tried Googling. I’m so anxious rn even to think about ever giving someone a bj again.
23 comments
He’s being an awful sex partner. Absolutely abysmal. The best thing for you to do is find a new partner and if you can find some inner confidence in yourself, you’d come to the same realization as well.
First of all, you’re overreacting. It’s not the end of the world just because you’re not perfect at giving BJ’s. When it comes to BJ’s there’s really no right or wrong way to do it, there’s just different ways, and different guys like different ways. Some guys like fast and sloppy, and some guys like me like slow and sensual. Like most things, it’s takes practice, the more you do something the better you get at it.
Don’t feel bad. You’re trying and he’s not. Ask him to be constructive instead of insulting.
He’s being a jerk. Don’t give him blow jobs. A decent lover would simply give you pointers on what they like in a blow job and ask if you might try those things. You don’t tell someone that they are terrible at something if you want them to do it more.
Move on. He sucks and hes keeping you low so youll need his approval to feel like a person.
He should be more constructive and give you tips on what he actually do like. seems like a douche.
give a blowjob to another dude and wait for the feedback.
If he wants better bJs, he absolutely has to communicate to you what it is that you’re doing wrong, and he has to be crystal clear. You aren’t a mind reader and communication is the key to having good sex. He cannot reasonably expect you to want to do bjs if he says that they are “bad”.
Ask him and keep pressing him to tell you what you’re doing wrong. And if he won’t be straight up and very clear, then dump him.
(Between you and me, my instincts are telling me that you’re probably doing them fine and your bf is just trying to be mean to you and bring you down. But I could be wrong.)
He’s an asshole. Don’t listen to him. You need a new guy that cares about you.
Awwh what a jerk.. its not that you are bad, its just that you dont have a helpfully partner, ask him to speak up while you are doing it, a simple “yes just like that” would do, if he wants to remain silent tell him you are going to stop.. and stop! If he starts to beg you to keep going then he clearly does like it.. if so still he is just a jerk!
Hes trash; kick him to the curb. No one ever tells their partner their sexual act is “bad”. Instead they help them improve.
Women tell men they’re bad at sex and giving oral all the time..
Why are you with someone who is putting your efforts down on repeat? You are trying and he is being overly critical. You deserve more than that in a partner. A good partner won’t do that to you.
All blowjobs are good unless you literally blow on his dick. Only assholes call it bad when someone puts a their dick in their mouth for them. Your boyfriend sucks. If he wasn’t a terrible lover himself he would be hyping you up and slowly helping to teach you what he likes.
What a dick. I’m sure there’s something he does that isn’t great. This is one of those situations that could have gone so much better. A simple “I really like when you do this” or “that doesn’t feel very good, can you try this” would have been way better.
The fact you’re hysterical is a huge red flag
Very simple. Dump him. He does not deserve you anyone who is respectful does not make this kind of comment
Tell him to suck a dick and report back to you so you can analyze how good of a job he did. He should be thankful that you are willing to even give yourself physically in any manner that you choose. We all have to practice at everything in this life. He’s a dick.
Then don’t bj. That’s neither caring nor considerate, and it’s certainly not the way to comfort a partner and help them improve.
That’s not a nice thing to say. I always encouraged my ex girlfriends at getting better at giving bjs by giving them directions and advices but would never dream to be that negative to someone who is being intimate with me. One of my ex used to grind her teeth on my hard penis and I had to endure the pain. She got better at giving head. A lover who really loves you should always be constructive and help you improving yourself.
Any guy in their right mind would never say that to their partners face. Much less complaining about the head their partner gives them. Find a more passionate partner for yourself that won’t criticize you
My bf told me I was bad at them, but we then worked together to help the issue, and he gave me pointers, clearly communicated what I was doing wrong, and he even directed my hands and head in certain ways that he liked. It took some time, but I can do just fine now. He needs to clearly tell u what he wants and help u improve. He cant just expect u to know
He sounds like an asshole. For all we know, your bjs are great, and he’s just being a piece of shit. Communicate your feelings to him, and if his actions continue to make you feel bad about yourself, find someone who isn’t an asshole to give blow jobs to