My gf has a “finsta” and doesn’t want me to follow her
Recently I asked her if she had a finsta because I found it out of the blue. She said yes but said she will not let me see it. I asked why I can’t follow her and she responded with I have to build more trust. We have been dating for months now and her finsta has over a 100 followers. I confronted her and she seems mad about it. It seems sketchy asf
17 comments
She’s probably got some posts about you or someone else she doesn’t want you to see. Sorry king 🥲
Update: I removed the request, moments later she changed the name of her finsta. Our relationship has been good for the moment, but there have been instances where she has disrespected me before and now this. My trust keeps getting lesser and lesser
My age is showing. What’s a finsta?
I treated mine like an online diary, like making poop jokes or sexual jokes just being totally real for my friends. It would be humiliating if a new Bf saw it.
She doesn’t trust you to look at her secret account that she didn’t tell you about? I think she has trust issues, and now you should too.
I’m just gonna offer you a different perspective.
I had a finsta that I wouldn’t let me bf see when we first started dating. It’s not because I was hiding something, it’s just because I used it as a sort of a blog/diary. I had about 10 followers that consisted of my closest friends that I had known for years. I had posts there that talked about my reoccurring feelings about a handful of really traumatic situations from the past that my friends had already known about. I didn’t want my bf on finsta at the time because I just hadn’t had the chance to explain to him what had happened to me. Sometimes it can be hard to talk about traumatic with someone “newer” in your life because there’s always a fear that is sometimes irrational. I just needed time to be more comfortable with him. Eventually as we dated longer, and I was able to tell him everything about myself so now he can look at it anytime he wanted to because he now knows first hand about some of the things I posted about (although I don’t use it at all currently). So maybe it could be the same with your gf?
Now I’m not saying that you should automatically trust her. She seems to have a lot more followers than an extremely personal blog might have and it also seems like she’s done other things in the past to make you question her based on your comments (removing and changing the name is pretty sketch ngl). I’m just trying to offer you a different perspective off of my anecdotal experience that could maybe help you extend her some grace if you think it’s appropriate. I’d recommend talking to her a bit more about the contents of the finsta before you mark her off as doing something nefarious.
Regardless, good luck and I hope y’all can overcome this. If not, I hope you find someone else who you can trust completely because you deserve that!
I was in a sorority in college and all of our finstas consisted of pictures of us looking ugly as fuck. Hair a mess, no makeup, double chins, ugly faces, horrible poses, etc. Not to mention none of the pictures were aesthetically pleasing and they all had ridiculous/embarrassing captions. I’m not saying this is what your girlfriend’s finsta consists of, but it could be. Who knows?
The responses here are forgetting about the fact that she doesn’t explained anything to him. “She doesn’t have to explain anything” yes she does, is her boyfriend, if she doesn’t wanna him to see then she at least have to explain why (come on guys, it’s a relationship).
>I asked why I can’t follow her and she responded with I have to build more trust.
This is literally gaslightning, if she wasn’t hiding anything serious, she would not respond you like that. I would just break up after this, gaslightning is a awful dealbreaker for me.
What’s a finsta?
It’s strange to trust over 100+ people more than your bf, so I get why you feel sus and bothered by this
hey!! so i’m f(19) and in my opinion this is a total red flag, i’ve had a bf for 3 years and we don’t share passwords but he knows everything i post on and what i posted. that’s obviously a boundary for you and i think you should communicate to her if you aren’t okay with it and you’d like to know
what she posts. if she’s not willing to be honest about her socials it’s up to you if you wanna deal with her definitely being shady
What is finsta?
mine is a photo diary dating back to my freshman year of college i don’t talk much on there besides random updates on my life but i post pics of my bf on almost every photo dump of mine, he knows i have it and i’ve offered to let him follow it but he said that he understands its my own little safe space w friends (mostly for myself) and that he wants to respect that. which is so sweet 🙂 btw my finsta has 75 followers and they’re all friends/and finstas of their own usually. so i don’t think u should get in ur head too much about it just try to get an understanding of why this is a boundary for her, maybe.
You’re not entitled to access her private spaces. She’s allowed to have a separate account that you don’t follow. You do demand to look through all her texts? Control what she wears? Don’t worry about it.
Cut her loose, the Finsta is more than likely her “I’m single, thirst trap” to get attention from guys. Any time a person hides SM from a partner it should be a dealbreaker.
Find a new GF & just 👻
My ex had one too that made me like her less as time went on
Trust should go both ways in a relationship. What would she do if you behaved in a sketchy manner?
If she has or you feel she would complain then you have your answer. It isn’t a good basis for a relationship having secrets.
My ex wife told me to trust her that she wasn’t seeing men behind my back when she was behaving sketchy. She wasn’t seeing other men, she was screwing other women.
Follow your gut.