How do you guys feel about being the sole provider for your household?

26 comments

1. Personally I don’t mind either way, as long as there’s respect and love going both ways that’s all I need

2. No because she wants to be that role

3. I am of the opinion that we should both be working unless we can’t. Just easier and can afford a better lifestyle and what not. We can be each other’s financial safety nets. But if she has to be SAHM and I truly love her, I wouldn’t mind jumping into that role for her as well.

   Basically I’m fine with any role as long as it’s well communicated, agreed upon and I do love my wife and family a lot.

4. I am, but it’s because we have young kids. It’s nice that I make enough to support us and our lifestyle, but if my wife wants to work it’d be fine with me as long as we don’t need childcare.

5. I have no problem being the sole breadwinner and expected to do this since I was young. I actually think it’s the opposite op, I’d say the majority of women want to be a stay at home mom. Especially once they had a child too, then the switch really flips.

   If my future wife wants to work, I can plug her into my business. But her main focus would be the kids and myself.

6. Its fucking awesome. My money, my land, my house my rules. I pamper the shit out of my wife and she takes very good care of me. I’m hard on the kids because kids need discipline. The wife and I have so much respect for each other. I’m the first up so I put on 2 pots of coffee, one for me and one for her. I’m usually on the back patio smoking and drinking a cup of coffee when the wife starts breakfast and lunch for me. An hour or so later I’m out the door with a homemade lunch, thermos of coffee and a jug of iced tea. 8 to 12 hours later I’m back home smothered by kids and dogs when I enter the door. Spend time catching up over a great spread and hopefully I can entice the wife to spend some candle lit time in our jacuzzi tub after the kids are in bed.

7. That would be an absolutely nightmare for me. There’s nothing appealing about this whatsoever.

8. I would rather live with a pet

9. Never. I cannot stand any sort of dependency relationship.

10. Yeah, I’m not technically married but I do this. It will never go away. If your having multiple kids and the woman is the maternal type it just makes perfect sense for her to be around when she wants to.

    This shit just works, there’s a reason it’s been happening since the dawn of civilisation and perhaps before.

11. It’s 2022, I don’t feel like providing anything for some bitch(and her little goblins, that might not even be mine) who might suck my cock once per week.

    Women are strong, independent etc…they don’t need no man to provide.

12. Not great. In fact, it’s one of the main reasons I am daydreaming about divorce. There’s multiple things to unpack, so I will try to be as concise as I can.

    1)I grew up poor and a time and place that had poor job and economical security. That made me a worrier. Just the fact of having a spouse who does not work, is economically dependant on me and would have a hard time reentering the job market if anything happened to my ability to earn a living is a fuckload of pressure. This isn’t helped by the rising cost of living, which has eliminated my ability to save. We’ve just barely been staying in the black in 2022.

    2)Distribution of household duties and mental load especially when you have a kid that’s out of the toddler phase and is at kindergarten or preschool for most of the day. It’s been getting easier as the kid grows up and my wife is on top of laundry, most of the cleaning, all school assignments, medical history and inventory, keeping with social obligations and cooks for our kid. I do most of the cooking for adults, meal planning and grocery shopping, day to day tidying up, bill payments, household repairs, anything vehicle, appliance and device related, financial and travel planning. I get it, but I’m exhausted too. That 20th century sitcom dad caricature that people on Reddit love doesn’t exist in my experience.

    3)Being taken for granted. It’s kind of hard to explain, but at least in my experience, there’s an expectation that I always should have more to give. More support, more resources, more attention even when I run on fumes myself. I don’t think I get nearly as much in return. Okay, my kid will grow up and, if I’m lucky, will eventually appreciate what I was doing. As to my wife, I think she rationally appreciates I have my own needs for space and support, but she puts her own misery first.

    4)

    Tl:dr: Some people run on adrenaline, some on endorphines, I ended up running on cortisol.

13. It is an arrangement that my wife and I have always felt should be maintained if able. Our perspective is that no one will raise our kids the way we will. To be totally honest, I would never say I am the sole provider. My wife works more as a stay at home mom than I ever do. Yes, I make the money but she enables it by working all day keeping the household working.

14. Not happened to be my case, given the personality of my wife, and honestly not something I ever was dreaming of. I myself don’t need much maintenance. Maybe sitting with kids could be an option but I was always lucky to have an affordable child care around.

    I believe in many cases it creates an embedded strain that the woman fully depends on the husband and would lose a lot in case of divorce. So in case of trouble she would either have to pretend to like him, or go to divorce and fully utilize the “laws siding with women” by taking some of the property which the husband considers “his own”.

15. I miss it for the job. But i regret letting my wife run the finances. She spend poorly. Doesn’t know how to budget correctly. And refuses to invest or save anything.

16. If you don’t have kids she isn’t a gem, she’s a leech. Stay at home mom is a thing. Stay at home wife or girlfriend is just a piss take. And she’s probably fucking someone else while you’re at work.

17. You sound like you have abandonment issues with your white knighting.

    Situation sounds gross

18. Why would I want to cut household income in half? Why should my wife get to enjoy a life without work while i toil? What happens if I lose my job? Instead of having to rely on one income, we would have zero income.

    There is literally no upside and massive downsides to such an arrangement, in my opinion

19. This whole post almost sounds fake! 😂… like written by a woman to gage the reaction of men

20. I’m not the sole provider, but I am the higher earner by some margin. It’s only my wife and I, and there is an expectation on me to pay for more things. I used to resent this a lot more, especially since my wife doesn’t care about money and hasn’t increased her earnings at all in the last 8 years we’ve been married. Meanwhile mine has increased significantly, since I want to provide some security for us. But I feel totally alone in this, and it’s pretty shit tbh. I have been saving for a deposit for a house for the last year and she hasn’t contributed anything, and instead has taken from it to do remodels on her airbnb. I’m not likely to see that money again. Need a new phone? Laptop, vacation or anything expensive, then i’m the one who has to pay.

21. That’s the way uh-hu uh-hu I like it.

22. > I’m so happy I could die right now (not that I want to).

    lol. i’m dead (not literally).

23. Not really something that I would enjoy personally.

24. if you like paying for someone else to live that’s your thing i guess. I would never do this in a million years.

25. Lol, you thought it would be hard to find someone willing to not go to work? If things don’t work out with her call me, I give toothy BJs, but they are frequent.

26. the onyl reason you feel that is because you feel she cant leave now. thats not good.