What the title says. Partner (M26) and I (F24) got engaged and facetimed his family, everyone was super excited except for her. She just asked questions and would say “wow ok” a lot. She said congrats but it did not seem genuine. Her face was very concerned looking.
Its been a few weeks and she hasn’t said anything about us getting married or her reaction. I am asking my fiance to call her and ask her what it was all about but he’s making excuses for her. Is it worth making him follow up? I don’t feel it’s my place and dont want to cause drama. I just want to know we have her support.
TLDR: Future MIL is not reacting happily to our engagement. Should we ask why she reacted that way/ how she feels or let it play out?
3 comments
Not off to a good start with MIL giving off bad vibes to start drama and your fiancé not wanting to address it. Start your relationship on a unified front because you’re theoretically becoming each-others family in the close future.
Your FMIL doesn’t need to like you or support you or your marriage. The reality is, you likely DONT have her support, but that isn’t where you need to focus your attention, you need to focus on your fiancé, will HE support you? Is HE okay with not having his mother’s support? Because at the end of the day, you aren’t in a relationship with his mother, you’re in a relationship with him, and if he has your back, his mother’s opinion doesn’t matter, but if he doesn’t have your back, his mother’s support or lack thereof also won’t matter.
A relationship is a partnership. You need to let him know how you feel, drama or no drama. For better or for worse.
In both your families, there are going to be people that don’t like you and don’t like him. That’s kind of how life goes. You can’t please everyone. You just can’t let those people erode your relationship. They don’t know you and your partner as well as you do.