I read so many comments from grown children that mention that they wished their bickering parents had just divorced sooner.
I’m just curious if there’s anyone out there that remembers their parents fighting a lot at some point in their childhood, but eventually working through it and getting to a more peaceful moment in their family? Has that happened for anyone? Does anyone look at their parents who have a tumultuous relationship and feel happy that they stuck it out and stayed together?
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100% me. Having been in a relationship for 10 years now, I know it can be difficult at times. My parents had issues with money which I know can be difficult for anyone. There’s so many things I lacked context on as a kid – I’m positive the negativity I saw as a child was reinforced through the lens of a child. Granted there was no blatant abuse in my parents relationship with each other as I know is the case for many, as that’d be a dealbreaker for me. I’m proud of my parents for working through their issues and now having been loving partners for 32 years. I aspire to be as kind and loving as them every day
No. My parent’s toxic relationship messed me up and at 60 I’m still dealing with the fallout. Give your kids at least one model of a healthy and happy home so they have some idea of how to build their own
Fighting isn’t the same as abuse. All couples fight but there’s a difference between a fight and it being an ongoing toxic environment where no one likes each other and everyone is unhappy.
I wanted my parents to divorce when I was younger because they fought so much. Now, they seem to have worked things out and they’re way more calm. I’m glad they’re together for their sakes, but also for mine. It would be a nightmare to have to take care of them if they weren’t together. I’m not even sure how that would work if they had to come live with me or something, and I know any special events would be full of fighting and drama because they would be jealous over who is getting more attention. Holidays are so much easier just going to visit two sets of parents instead of three or four.
My parents hit a really rough spot when mom slipped into alcoholism and became violent, abusive and dangerous. I never knew how it went down, but mom joined AA and changed dramatically. And she and dad were happy together for over 65 years until they died, three months to the day apart.
It did get rough again in the final years because mom had dementia and towards the end, she didn’t recognize dad (or me) and yet he still was so gentle and kind to her.