Went on amazing date with guy. He lives in a city three hours away but comes to my town every other weekend. Met his friends (just a coincidence) it was all wonderful. He said validating things of us having a future, I did as well. While in bed and kissing he said I should come to his city (this may have been an in the moment thing to say).
When I get home the next morning (no we didn’t have sex, but I did stay the night) I tell him I had a great time. He texts me back the next day and apologizes for the late reply he had been out with the friends I met the night before. They went to a college game and probably just hung out all day drinking and stuff.
I heart the message which isn’t abnormal. Then I ask if he saw our friend at the game. A guy we met the night before said he was going. He didn’t reply. Two days go by and I’m antsy so I send “hey I’m blunt, will I see you again” he finally replies “yes you will” I say “ok sounds good”. Over a week goes by and he texts me “Want to bend you over my lap and spank you rn” so random. I didn’t reply bc fuck you for texting me that.
Over a week goes by he still watches my stories. I also watch his. His college (we are both graduated) beat my team and he posted the score saying wow and I send a gif that’s of a sad fan with thumbs down. He opens like 10 minutes after I send and doesn’t laugh or reply. You think he didn’t reply because he’s salty? Idk why he still follows me. Him and his best friends girlfriend follow me.
Edit: He’s 27, my b.
12 comments
He seems petty and immature
29(m) if i had sent you that text and didnt get a reply, i would probably stop talking to you to, thats embarassing.
Not saying the text was appropriate or anything but the dude was probably horny.
My question for OP is, do you still want this man to pursue you? If so, be honest and tell him that you can see yourself with him but the text he sent the other night wasnt something you can reciprocate at this time.
This is 24F and 28M? Looks more like 14F and 18M
He definitely sounds a little immature or maybe he’s only interested in you sexually. I’m 24m and If I was genuinely interested in a woman and like her I wouldn’t go a week without contacting her. Even if for some reason I got super busy and it slipped me I can tell you that my first message in a week to any woman I’m interested in wouldn’t be so bluntly and solely sexual. That’s regardless of whether or not we’ve had sex or are having regular sex even.
Here’s where the red flag comes up for me . It’s where he says after he says that he will meet up with you and takes another week to reply and a horny one at that.
Clearly he’s not prioritizing you. Forget about him. If he’s interested he will make the time to message you.
Do you wanna see him? If you do don’t overthink and send him a message. No one is perfect. Personally I wouldn’t mind a horny message because I love dirty talk but apparently that didn’t resonate with you and that’s ok. But you learn each other’s ways as you go on. He probably knows now to not send you a horny message out of the blue. And who knows, maybe he was drunk and his friend sent it as a joke. So as I said, don’t overthink.
I think he was horny one night and so sent you the text because you’re the girl he wanted. Not replying probably translated to him that you’re not into him like that.
Rather than ghosting, having a conversation about it would have sorted things out. Be as blunt as you said you are.
Move along. That was a test. He’s not serious about you. That was an inappropriate text.
Tbh that sounds more like a friend sent it and now he’s embarrassed or he’s immature
The comments telling you to pursue a relationship or that he is interested in pursuing a relationship with you are honestly making me laugh. Like let’s all be for real here. He does not want a relationship with you. He wants to fuck and that’s it. If you don’t want a fuck buddy, move on. Don’t text him first and don’t respond if he texts you.
Don’t think it’s payback, I think he’s only looking for sex and as he’s not getting it so easily from you he’s not trying anymore
Time to move on… we could debate this but it’s abundantly clear he is not interested in anything more than convenience.