I eat her out but she hasn’t given me any bjs lately. I’m not sure why? She did say that I pushed on her head too much and needed to be more gentle. Now I don’t do it every time but sometimes I can’t help it but isn’t it a normal part of giving bjs? I’m not saying she’s wrong for feeling that way but it’s not something I have control over.
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Is there any solution that doesn’t involve talking to her about it? Maybe it’s just a matter of the way you talk to her about it.
>She did say that I pushed on her head too much and needed to be more gentle. Now I don’t do it every time but sometimes I can’t help it
Yes, you can help it. Ignoring her boundaries around pushing her head is 100% within your control. It’s not a mandatory part of a BJ, it’s optional if she’s ok with it. Tie your hands behind your back if you have trouble with impulse control.
Think about this for a minute. Imagine giving head to a super built strong man. He puts his hand on your head. He can overpower you at any second and make you gag and choke. It’s scary and not a fun time. That’s how it feels for women. Most men are stronger than us and having him push your head when you don’t like it is really scary.
You absolutely have 100% control of what you do with your hands.
Unless you own that and probably apologize, you can forget getting a blow job again.
Your attitude of claiming that you have no control of your actions, is probably part of a pattern of behavior that she is tired of accepting.
Be an adult about this. It is a growth opportunity that you should take advantage of while it is available.
I have never once pushed on someone’s head during a BJ. If you are doing something that she finds uncomfortable, then this one is on you.
You have no control over whether you push her head down? Yeah no i would not give you a blowjob either. That is absolutely not okay. If she says she doesn’t want you to do it and you do it anyway you’re a dick.
No one’s gonna trust you if you keep doing the thing you promised you wouldn’t do. Are you really confused about this.
You might have to stop pushing on her head then.
But… if she really stops giving you head from now on, you go get a different girl who likes to get pushed down while giving blowjobs.
I’m in the same boat. My s/o doesn’t give me bj’s either. I’ve talked to her about it and it’s because something happened with her and her ex years ago and she still won’t. I’ve asked what I can do to help but nothing has ever changed. I wish she would, it may even be childish of me but I’ve gone as far as not going down on her as much. Why should I do it if there’s no reciprocation??
You absolutely can control your hands and what you do with them. Stop pushing on her head if she doesn’t like you doing it.
So your wife used to do something you enjoyed, you responded by hurting her, now she no longer does it, and you’re confused?
If you’re smart enough to write a Reddit post, surely you can figure this one out.
Maybe you should try to put a banana in your mount and pretend that somebody is pushing you and maybe you are going to understand why she doesn’t like it. The thing is that if you keep pushing her you are not getting a bj. And let say she likes to give bj but not to be push, she might just give it to somebody else and end of discussion cause she might feel more confortable with somebody that listen to her.
You have control! Do not pull that card!
Stop with your lousy excuses. You have complete control over what you do with your hands. Unless you stop with it – for good – and apologies to her, i hope she doesn’t ever give you a bj again.
YTA
Have her tie your hands behind your back if you can’t control yourself. Maybe then she’ll trust that you won’t abuse her. Absolutely pathetic that you just can’t just control your impulses like an adult
As a rule I let her have total control of her head while giving BJ’S.
Maybe you try to compromise by cuffing your hands to idk maybe a chair or behind your back problem solved
I’ve seen a post that sounds exactly the same from the girls prospective, and everyone suggests completely stopping giving them bc if you don’t feel safe then you should never put yourself in that situation again.
If she’s told you multiple times and you “forget” every single time over a period of time, I’m surprised she’s even in the relationship still
You do realise that people have a gag reflex/boundaries right if you continue to do things that are against her boundaries than no wonder she doesn’t want to give you head anymore. And don’t rely on Reddit maybe talk to her and see what’s the problem?? It’s not that hard dude
If you couldn’t trust her not to get carried away and fart in your mouth during oral, would you feel comfortable doing it to her?
This is no different than saying ‘I don’t have control over whether or not I sexually assault someone.’ You have self control. You just choose not to prioritize your partner’s needs/safety.
If you are not sexually mature enough to not push your partner’s head down, after she asked you not to, you are not mature enough to be having sex.
Head touching is not a normal part of a blow job. Some people don’t mind it but many hate it. If my partner touched my head, during a blow job, I wouldn’t give him any more blow jobs.