Are 10-year or more age-gap marriages common in America?

39 comments

1. [removed]

2. I wouldn’t say it’s that common but it definitely happens. My mom got remarried when she was 37 to my stepdad that was 12 years older.

3. I only know one couple in person, among my generation or younger, that has a 10 year age gap. I would not call it common.

   It was much more common with my grandparents generation but in my personal experience has been on a steady decline for a very long time

4. The only time I’ve seen it is with my grandparents. My grandmother was 18 and my grandfather was 33 when they got married.

   I’d say it’s not very common. I think it’s more common for people to be within 5 or so years of their partner.

5. Not common but yeah they happen. It’s more accepted when both parties are middle aged. A woman and a significantly older man marrying often raises flags

6. Family law (aka divorce) paralegal here.

   Age gaps in first marriages and amongst young couples are thankfully not common these days. They are still very common in second marriages/later in life marriages. I was in my 30s when I started my age gap relationship and we’ve been very happy because there was never any power or experience imbalance.

7. “Common”? I wouldn’t say that, no. I’m sure you can find statistics on this somewhere but I can’t think of anyone I know who is that much older than their spouse. It’s absolutely not “expected”.

8. It is among the rich and famous.

   It’s far less so, albeit not unheard of, among us regular people. Especially today. Age gaps were a bit more common a couple generations ago but still mostly among the rich and famous.

9. Not really common, but not unheard of. Certainly not expected.

   Seems like a weird/creepy expectation…

10. I’m going to guess that you’re in a country in which the age of marriage is much older than America’s, making the gap less significant, or one in which women’s postsecondary education is either less common, taken less seriously, or just earlier (Israel and Korea come to mind, as both keep men in the army longer) than men’s, so men are finishing education much later than women.

11. I am in my 30s. I coincidentally know three women from my college class who married right after graduation (at 22 ish) to men at least 10 years older than them.

    It used to be said that women went to my school or to similar places to “meet men” and marry somebody on his way up the ladder. By the time I was a student the cliche had completely changed and now many graduates of both genders don’t marry or have kids until rather later in their careers because it’s all about careers now.

    I thought it was funny that three relatively good friends kind of took the 1950s route – Although they all have careers themselves (in addition to multiple kids by now) so I shouldn’t be dismissive.

12. Most of us tend to meet romantic partners through school or just through other common social bonds where we’re far more likely to interact with people around our own age than people who are much older or younger than us.

    As you get beyond school age and further into adulthood, its easier for a 30 year old and a 40 year old to find themselves in similar social circles than say a 25 year old and a 15 year old.

    Not to mention 25 and 15 is creepy AF

13. It’s not that common, though I’m sure the age gap frequency increases as the people get older. I’m six years older than my wife, but we got married in our 30s so it’s not an issue.

14. My mother and step father are like 15ish years apart. I was an adult when they got married however so

15. Not common but it happens. My brother is married to a woman roughly ten years younger than him.

16. My parents were a ten year gap in age.

    I only personally know a handful of couples that have that large of an age gap. I know a few more that are in the 5-10 year difference though. Most all are within 0-3 years I would say.

    It’s definitely not as common today as it was even ~30 years ago when my parents got married.

17. The [average age gap is 2.3 years](https://www.psycom.net/relationships/age-difference-in-relationships), but gaps of 10 or more is not uncommon either.

18. my cousin married a guy likke 8 or so years older. You woulnd’t guess it and he’s really nice but a little bit shy.

19. My parents were 11 years apart. I knew a fair number of older couples with similar gaps. It was a less connected, less mobile, more rural time, so options were what they were, depending on location. I don’t know many that got together in a more recent time that weren’t much older to begin with.

20. They’re not common but they do happen sometimes. Based on my observation, usually the age difference between the two people is no more than 5 years.

21. Not common especially in younger marriages. Like a 22 year old marrying a 32 year old isn’t so common even less common for an 18 year old and a 28 year old but a 40 year old and a 50 year old would be less surprising.

22. Not common, somewhat odd if anything.

23. It’s not the norm in younger generations but more common as a person gets older in my experience.

24. I wouldn’t say they are uncommon. The older people get the less abnormal this is. Nobody thinks twice about a 55 year old and a 45 year old. The younger you are the more likely you are to get the side eye.

    I think the average age gap in a marriage in the US is that the husband is 5 years older than the wife on average. People I know that got married young are typically only a couple years apart, but when men get married in their early 30s it seems like their wives are often in their mid or late 20s. I just turned 32 and most of the dating interest I’ve gotten since turning 30 is from people 23-27 it seems like, not sure why.

25. Honestly depends on their age. A 10+ year age gap if the younger person is 21 and younger is very concerning 21-30 not as concerning but still could be sus and 30+ who cares.

26. My own mother and stepdad got married when she was 35, and he was 44- so a 9 year age gap. It wasn’t seen as strange, because they were both dating when she was 30+. It’s more common among older couples. Unsure if it’s a generational thing, or if it’s more because dating when elderly has you all more or less on the same level of maturity.

27. Not common and would probably be looked at in a negative light with the older party being viewed as creepy/perverted.

28. Depends on the age of the younger person, but I wouldn’t call it common.

29. It happens, my age gap is 7 years

30. Here the expectation is that both partners in the couple are in a similar stage of life so there’s no power imbalance. Generally. Obviously there will be outliers but the relationship advice you’ll here over here is to date someone in a similar life stage to you.

    Which tends to make age gaps rare. If it’s a couple where one is 50 and the other 60, sure, they’re both going to be dealing with similar life experiences. But a 20 year old is doing entirely different things than a 30 year old. Heck, I remember 20 year olds seeming almost juvenile when I was just 25.

    It’s treated kind of skeptically here if there’s a big gap, especially if one of the partners is actually fairly young. You get concerns about grooming or manipulation from the older partner.

    And yeah, the only couple I can think of with a large gap, they met when the younger was middle aged and already had a kid. And they were both on a similar career track. So they made a pretty even match.

31. Not very common to have tgat big of an age gap. It is more common that a couple will be the same age or 3-4 years difference.

32. My husband and I have a 15 year age difference. We’ve been happily married for 26 years and still going strong!

33. it’s uncommon. in my opinion it’s predatory and wrong if one party is like 18-25. if they’re older than that it’s fine.

34. Not super common in first marriages and might be looked down upon. Much more common when people are older – a 50 year old marrying a 40 year old is viewed much differently than a 30 year old marrying a 20 year old.

35. It was very common in older generations. Most of my grandparents, great aunts & uncles, etc etc had large age gaps like that.

    It seems to have gotten less common with every generation. I don’t know anyone my age (Older Millennial) with that big of an age gap in marriage. Mostly it’s 0-4 years difference in my experience.

36. As with most questions on here, *it’s not unusual*.

37. My boyfriend and I have an age gap… however I’m the older one. Lol

38. Not expected or common, but not unheard of. Most first marriages I see are people in their 20s who met in or near college age. In my experience, the 10 year gap seems to be more common in 2nd or later in life marriages.

39. Not common. Generally considered creepy if the younger partner is under 24 or so, though I do know one couple like that.