Pretty much title. Also would feel grateful to hear examples of the opposite, if you feel comfortable sharing. Thank you in advance.

Edit: very sincere thank you for the reward!

29 comments

  1. Just be the person that they fell in love with, there is no need to be extra in my opinion.

  3. Random romantic gifts and showings of affection. Pulling them aside in a crowded room just to have a moment to kiss them. Showing up to their place with their favorite meal and a flowers. Planning for a future together and taking them to places that will give them lifelong memories.

  4. I talk to them make sure they are ok tell them good morning every morning tell them goodnight help them if they need it if they need alone time give it to them just always let them know your there

  7. Saying you love them, LOTS of hugs, being supportive, making sure they know how much they mean to you

  8. If you really know your partner you’ll understand the little things that matter to them. Do more of that. Often the little thoughts and gestures go a lot further than the big ones.

  10. Hear about their days, troubles, problems and be supportive.

    My ex was a midwife who would do 12.5 hour days. I was a WFH graphic designer so her bad days at work were world’s apart from mine.

    Sometimes she’d get home from a hellish day and I’d have dinner cooked, a bath ran with bubble bath for her, the place immaculate and a tub of warm soapy water for her to soak her feet in after being on them all day. Seeing her happy from it made me so happy.

  11. (obligatory “not a man”)

    My bf is not very verbally affectionate. But he sends me funny/cute things he finds on the internet, and he listens to me fully, and he’s always open to cuddle or hold hands.

  13. I’m physical more than verbal

    I’ll Cuddle up / spoon her every morning in bed. Put my arms around her and kiss her neck. Still grab her butt and boobs and tell her she makes me horny (OK, that’s verbal)

    We’ve been together 25 years so it must be working

  14. I just would say it. No reason to be all lovey dovey and hide true feelings with potentially confusing lingo

  15. A lot of women say they appreciate intimacy which doesn’t lead to sex. Just cuddling and touches which arent a gateway.

    Also if you know your partners love languages or just show you consider them by doing things they will appreciate

  16. I tell her every chance I get. I thank her for all she does for me. I support her in everything she wants. I never put restrictions on her. I take care of her when she needs me. I will randomly, once every year or three, send flowers to her work for no reason. I prank her and never get mad when she pranks me back. After 18 years, I still can’t keep my hands off her and I tell her how beautiful and sexy she is. I always rub and rake her skin when she asks. And I bang the ever-loving shit out of her until she can’t stand it and call her a sissy when she taps out.

  17. I loved cooking for my ex (partly because she’s one of those “I only had half a salad and two coffees today” kind of girls lol), and also writing her poems

  18. Put down your phone. Meet her at the door. Turn down the TV. Suggest something for you both to cook together. Try a different side item with your boring main meals. Ask her a question…and *listen* to the answer. Stop it…you know what I’m talking about. Seriously…just stop it.

  20. I spend more quality time with her. Whatever we’re doing depends on whatever is planned. Sometimes its big stuff sometimes small.

  21. When she comes home from a crazy day at work, I sit her on the couch, put a glass of wine in her hand and massage her feet for an hour until dinner is ready.

  22. Maybe its silly, but I think about her every time I do it.

    I wake up really early for work , 3:30am. She gets up around 6:00am.
    Our coffee pot is set for a programmed brew, so its ready for me by 3:15 so its hot and ready when i wake up.
    Our coffee maker has a safety two hour reset on the hot plate, so after two hours it turns off. So it turns off at 5:15. So it would start to be cold when she gets up at 6:00.

    Every single morning around 4:00 am, my last step before I walk out the door, I turn the coffer maker off, then on resetting the two hour timer. Now, at 6:00 when she wakes up, the coffee is still hot.

    I know its not a large hassle for me, and its kinda silly. But ill do it everyday forever for her.

  23. Acts of kindness, solving a problem before it’s a problem, doing a task before I’m asked, and, (and this is crucial) not being a curmudgeon every damn time I’m asked to do some plan I’d rather not do.

  24. Asking their opinion. Appreciate anything they do by voicing it. Telling them where you go. Give them a time out. Alot.

  25. Make life easier for them. If they are doing busy and made a mess clean up for the here and there, warm up their car while they are getting ready to leave when it’s cold, etc. If you’re dating a girl in the mid 20’s or younger she most likely have doubts on why you’re dating her so give her reassurance….. (Maybe that’s just my luck with women lol). Sometimes include them in your activities or include yourself in their activities. “Spending time with you no matter what we are doing is worthwhile to me” always works.

    Also words of affirmation. “I’m proud of you” “thank you for taking time out of your day for helping” “I love when you *add a habit you notice*” “

  26. I do my best to listen to her (I admit, I have more to learn, my mind is always trying to do too much at a time, trying to connect new information to old stuff, pull up related stories…),and later do things that show I listen.

    I flun doubt her love languages, so I could treat her in a way that makes her feel the most loved. Luckily we both had almost identical profiles, so it comes very naturally to me. We both love physical touch and quality time, so we share a lot of stories, and try to do stuff together. We hug and cuddle a lot, and take turns being big/little spoon. I’m more ticklish than she is, so I let her “torment” me to her heart’s content.

    We both love cooking, but hate cooking for ourselves, so we cook for each other, or together.

    Right now a lot of that is not possible due to her health, but we do what we can.

  27. Tell her you love her, and thank her for all the little things she has done for you…apart from the obvious display of affection….

  28. As a woman, the second most important thing I can say is love languages. My SO and I have different love languages so it’s not always easy to remember but when he makes an effort to speak my love language (words of affirmation & physical touch) I feel like my heart could explode. Also, being willing to just listen and not try fix (depending on the context of course).
    The most important is being transparent, honest, and loyal.

  29. By doing little things all the time, to make sure her needs are met. What I do is fill up her gas tank every week, do the grocery shopping, laundry, etc. She plans the meals, we share dish washing responsibilities. By being there for her, doing things together (this past Friday we went to the festival of lights at the arboretum), bit also be ok when she wants to do her own thing (she likes to dress up as a pirate at Renaissance Festivals (went once, wasn’t my thing)). Be ok when she wants to join in on your interests (she’ll come along with me to car shows, to play with the dogs. Plus I like to kayak, we got an old canoe last year because she wanted to try it, and she really liked it). Always hug and kiss. I also always kiss her goodbye when I leave the house in the morning, if she’s awake or not. Don’t take everything so seriously. I refer to her as my queen and she rules over me with her huge royal orbs. But we always take the other into consideration on things. Relationships are 2 way streets, there’s give and take. Should never be one sided. Also, approaching 60, I still paw at her like a teenager. We try to just snuggle, but always end up doing the wild monkey dance. Can’t help it, she’s so warm and squishy in the right places. Married over 20 years so something is working

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