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I (M21) was friends with this girl (F21), she had no interest in me and was very skeptical of me but i liked her. So I kind of started something with her, i would touch her and she would tell me not to, that it made her uncomfortable and that it was inappropriate but i wouldn’t listen b/c i was trying to be playful, i would talk to her about how good life could be, about marriage and kids. This went on for \~8 months. A side note is that she has always told me she (ideally) only wants to fall in love with/ invest in one person romantically–culturally that’s what is normally done in her culture, and she likes the concept of it.
lately she’s been kind of warming up to me and she brought up potentially taking things further on the commitment scale/ physical scale. I kind of backtracked and felt really anxious and worried about doing this. i think I don’t actually want to be with her…idk if i always felt this way or if i just changed my mind, but as soon as the topic came up, i knew i didn’t want more. idk why i instigated things to begin with…
i told her we cant do that i feel anxious and shes basically asking why.
this is a repost, old post was removed due to not having M21 and F21 in it
what can i do?
TLDR: STARTED SOMETHING W/ A GIRL AND THEN WENT BACK ON IT
7 comments
This sounds like sexual assault…
You sound awful. Get therapy.
First off, do not touch someone else without their consent. No means no. Seriously. Aside from the fact that you can get charged with battery for un-consented touches, it is an invasion of another person’s space and body.
Just be honest and say, “i like you and respect you and your culture, and for those reasons I need to tell you that I’m not at the point in my life where I can promise you the type of commitment you want and need. I’m very sorry that I was persistent and gave a different impression and I’m even sorrier that I ever made you uncomfortable. That being said, I would like to be friends if that is something you would like too.”
And again, keep your hands to yourself unless you have explicit AND enthusiastic consent. If someone seems uncomfortable or unsure, then back off and let them make the first move.
How about you break up and work on boundaries like NOT TOUCHING PEOPLE WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT, you pervert!
Like others have commented get therapy and break up with yourself, it’s the only way!!
You’re grimey. Don’t ever touch someone without their consent. Delete this post and go to therapy and work on your obvious character flaws.
You sound like an abusive manipulator. Do this girl a favour and break up with her. She’ll be better off without you.