This is is something I (25F) don’t like when it comes to dating…Whenever I go out with a man, I often times get ignored by everyone else. It always feels like I’m in the backdrop when I go out with a man. For example, people in the service industry waiters, doormen, etc. I’ve only had a handful of experiences where people “split” their attention evenly. I took almost a year break from dating and I forgot that this was a thing i used to feel/experience. Alone I’m fine but with a man it’s almost like im in the backdrop. Does anyone else experience this?
TL;dr never acknowledged when I’m with a man. Does anyone else experience this?
6 comments
I think it’s pretty common – residual misogyny in our culture, the assumption that if you’re “with” him, he’s in charge, and they just have to address him and he’ll take care of you.
Shitty. But it’s definitely a thing and it’s not just you experiencing it.
Aww crap, what does it say about me as a female, that waiters and waitresses always hand the check to me, when I’m on dates with older guys?
I get you. I’ve felt it but now that I am older, I don’t sit back and allow it. I pop my shoulders back and with my head up gracefully smile and answer the questions not directed to me but about me. It changes the dynamics completely and my husband loves it. Next time it happens to you please stand in your strength I promise you won’t let it happen again. The person you are with will know they need to treat you like the queen you are too!
Yes… and actually I don’t mind it😅.
What do you mean by acknowledged? Like wait staff will outright not talk to you or something?
Yes. And this would happen to me in the most progressive parts of Seattle. It was crazy. I would grumble about it to my partner at the time. And now that I’ve been single for a while i forgot about this until I read your post