How do I stop being so polite to strangers? It’s problematic for me.

Let me preface this by saying I listen to true crime podcasts, and one of them (My Favorite Murder) preaches “fuck politeness” in the context of, don’t feel obligated to go out of your way to polite to people you don’t know and maybe feel iffy about. Too many people feel obligated to be polite when it’s not something you owe to people. I agree, I really do but I also struggle with being assertive. I was raised unknowingly to be a people pleaser. That being said, I’m super cautious in necessary situations because I’m aware of people who may try to take advantage. At least I’ve learned that. Anyway, let’s get into it.

I (F31) am a people person despite harboring a lot of frustration regarding the general public. I don’t think I’m better than people, I just don’t have patience for some nonsense. I’m an open and honest person who likes having fun with life, and maybe I’m a little naive because I default to treating people with kindness and dignity. My therapist said this is one of my strengths, but also a challenge. I think of it as my kryptonite lol.

I’m not shy around strangers and I apparently look approachable – I am used to people making small talk and asking for a lighter, etc. Sometimes I make conversation or they do and I chit chat. I don’t actively seek this out, I can’t stress that enough. I just don’t always decline when I should. I’m newly single and yes, I’m open to meeting people but I’m very honest about my intentions. Unfortunately people don’t always understand or respect that so I end up getting overwhelmed. Yes, I sometimes give out my number but I make it clear what I want and don’t want (dating, exchange info about a certain topic, etc.). BUT it’s clear this is a problem for me and I am wondering if anyone has realistic tips on how to curb this behaviour on my end.

Please note:
Yes, it would be easier to not give out my number or to not talk to people, but it would also be easier for some people to just not shop or drink if they’re susceptible to problematic behaviour.

YES it would be easier to not make conversation but like I said, this is part of who I am. It’s a strength but also a weakness and it’s a balance I’m working to figure out.

TLDR: I’m friendly and look approachable. I’m a people person and it’s a strength and a weakness and it’s a problem I’m working on.but still a problem. How do I stop myself from being too polite with strangers?

EDIT: some clarification on “fuck politeness” : https://www.reddit.com/r/myfavoritemurder/comments/78nxc2/the_meaning_of_fuck_politeness/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Also adding that I do have a history of needing people to like me or at least not hate me to feel valued as a human.
It took me years to realize the patterns with my behaviour that include adapting to the interests and hobbies of others in order to connect and to aid in making them happy, rather than doing what I like and moving on if they don’t like it.
Took me years to understand that even if someone helps me, I can appreciate it, I don’t owe them access past my personal boundaries, to my body, or to my private life.
Took me years to see that it was taking a toll on my mental health and wellbeing to constantly be catering to others, like in a workplace (where I struggle with taking on too much in fear of being reprimanded if I don’t, even if I get overwhelmed by the workload).

Don’t know how else to convince strangers online that I was raised as a people pleaser? But if you’re on reddit looking at posts asking for useful advice and all you wanna do it assume and nitpick, thanks for stopping by but move on and find something more suited for that 😘