So general question every time I have been asked “what are my standards” I immediately get people telling me they are too high or unobtainable for reference here are my non negotiables I’m constantly attacked for:
1. I will not date a person with children (I have none and children would not fit into my lifestyle also past experiences have shown me it isn’t for me) I mostly get attacked by women who have married a man with kids or is in a relationship with one
2. A person with a job (no particular yearly income JUST A JOB)
3. A person who isn’t homophobic, racist, overly religious, or anti feminism
4. a man with his own home/apartment and car
And yes I have all of these things I am requesting. Does anyone else experience shaming for their standards?
EDIT: can you all please stick to answering my question I’m not looking for opinions on what you think about my standards I don’t care they aren’t changing. I just want to know based on YOUR PERSONAL STANDARDS when you tell people do they shame you for it or tell you to lower them? That is it that is all
6 comments
Because they don’t fit into them so they take it personal.
Own home as in should he have bought his home by then or is renting his own place okay? If he needs to buy it, how old should he be? Cause that’s an unrealistic expectations for someone in their 20’s or maybe early 30’s (considering he has no kids and is single)
People shame others for anything that doesn’t conform to their own beliefs. There’s a reason why religion & politics are often banned topics in various places for example.
With regards to dating, you are allowed to set any criteria you want. It doesn’t matter what other people think. It only matters what you think because you are the one doing the dating.
Well, Idk who’s attacking you or why, but chill, it’s just Reddit.
And btw, your standards don’t seem particularly high or unobtainable. Besides the children factor (which a lot of adults do have), I’d dare say most people meet your standards.
Edit: And by the way, even if your standards were incredibly unobtainable (like “being related to the Danish royal family” or “being 7’ tall”), they’re still your choice to make.
I’d call them “preferences” rather than standards. Imagine if you met the absolute perfect dude, but he’s smart and realized that paying $1500+/rent is a rip off so he lives with his parents and is saving up for a house (up to a certain age). With everything else perfect, if you’d absolutely refuse to date him for that I think people have a right to be offended. That’s super shallow.
If someone asks about your standards, you don’t have to answer. Either ask them why they want to know, or say “I’ll know them when I see them” slot of women have no standards and act completely desperate for any shitty guy who will look twice at her. Doesn’t mean you have to be that dumb.