i (19 F) have had a very rocky relationship with sex because of a lot of sexual trauma that has happened to me. regardless of that i used to really enjoy it, and it would feel really good, but about two years ago i was very brutally raped. after that i completely lost any feeling down there. when i have sex it either doesn’t feel like anything or hurts. i don’t understand what is wrong with me, i literally have to fake it because i cant feel anything at all ! does anyone know what i can do or what has happened to me?
4 comments
Im so sorry that happened to you. A medical doctor and a therapist are the professionals who should be helping you figure this out. There may be physical trauma or emotional trauma that is impacting your ability to feel sensation, or both.
I hope you find the courage to be honest and not fake enjoyment. It sounds like your unconscious brain protected yourself from the rape by shutting down your sensations. Be gentle with you. r/EMDR is a treatment for trauma that can help you heal. Just thinking about it without support or EMDR won’t work because your prefrontal cortex (PFC) will just shut down again. This is how trauma works.
So sorry to hear of that awful trauma. Don’t try to fuck your way out of this. You’re compounding on the trauma by keeping sexually active right now. The lack of feeling is telling you that this is not right for you. Seek therapy. As previous comment said: try EMDR. It can be extremely effective. Open up. Tell your therapist everything. To the last little detail. Reddit cannot cure you. Only professionals can guide you through.
I’m sure there isn’t a soul on here that doesn’t feel for you. And the SOB that did this to you deserves a public hanging. Therapy and find a man who’s patient and truly loves you.