It’s been made blatantly clear tonight that I am not attractive to my husband. I don’t really know what to do now. We’ve been married 10+ years, I’m in the process of doing what I need to do (am losing weight, getting my droopy skin taken care of). I have had a hard past and am ageing faster than normal. I’m mid 30’s. We’ve been to couples counseling several years ago and he went but hated it. I asked him to compliment me once in a while, he had a hard time with it.
Honestly, I don’t want to have a direct conversation and hear him say he doesn’t like the way I look. There’s only so much I can do about it, and I’m in the process of doing it. He’s not trying to leave me, he’s not being mean, it’s just obvious he isn’t attracted to me. We joke around and take care of each other. It’s just obvious when we are talking with a woman who is prettier than me he takes he side or opinion, and suddenly we are not a team anymore. It makes me sad.
4 comments
Do better for yourself, put you first. He should not be disrespectful to you, esp in front of others, that is immature and ridiculous. He’s allowed to be honest in physical attraction tho… but it sounds like he appreciates you in other aspects, like your personality and humor, etc. Not sure why the weight gain, but you sound unhappy with it, so take care of it. With a healthier body will come confidence, which is attractive.
Also sounds like you are making assumptions based on how you see yourself. So get healthier for you.
Keep yourself up, but don’t go nuts on trying to stay looking young. It won’t work if you don’t have the youthful genes necessary. I married a beautiful girl 50 years ago who, over time, has turned into her father’s sister. We are both old and completely different people than 50 years ago. I still love her just as much as I ever did and I wouldn’t trade her in for a sexy young chick, my old heart wouldn’t keep up with one of those anyway. I’ll keep the one I’ve got. Besides I’ve never seen another one who can cook and bake like the one I’ve got. I love her.
You cannot force anybody including your husband to find you attractive. I assume he found you attractive enough to marry you. What happened? Did you gain weight?
I truly doubt that you’re that. I have to ask this husband what kind of man he is that hates improving his marriage (counseling, aka learning) and fails in the base levels of kindness that a husband should bring.