Trying to understand what my sexuality is and if it even fits into a category.

Hi folks,

I’m F32 and for a while now I’ve been unsure where I fit in in the sexuality umbrella.

Attraction for me is incredibly niche and at the same time, really random. I rarely, in fact if ever, find a person physically attractive. In that I mean that I can look a genetically hot guy and I don’t feel anything, no attraction, nothing, he is just like everyone else to me. That being said, I do find certain physical aspects attractive, but they are totally random and vary from person to person.

For example; maybe I like one guys hair style or the way he smiles, the muscle definition he has in his thigh, the way beard stubble looks, but the rest of how he looks means nothing to me and I feel no attraction outside of those aspects and most of the time it’s just one thing that I find attractive and not a collection.

However, that being said, if I can mentally connect with you then I can also find you extremely attractive and every single part of the physical being is attractive. This goes for men or women.

I am in a long term serious relationship and we were originally long distance but now I live in his country with him, met online, so we had to have a mental connection first. When we did meet the mental connection was still there so I also became physically attracted to him also and now I think he’s just gorgeous and so handsome.

For a long time I thought I was asexual as my sexual needs or desires were non existent and felt no drive to do anything, not even masturbate. But with my partner I have a wildly high sex drive so I don’t think I can identify with being asexual. I thought about demisexual also but not sure if that’s right for me either.

Honestly I know labels don’t matter, but the more I think about it the more I’m curious of where I sit on sexuality. Any ideas?

Thanks!