tldr: brother mistreats me when I stick up for myself…
So I was at the store with my brother after running his errands all day long. I needed to grab a few things and he happened to be done before me. He texts me telling me he is leaving(we drove in his car) I reply to ask him to wait. He flat out says no. Okay, so I’m frustrated at this point. I run errands all day with him and don’t rush him and am generally very helpful, but the second I need a second to get my stuff he can’t accept that. Anyway, I meet him at check out and I am visibly pissed at him. I tell him he is rushing me and he starts arguing with me. I stick up for myself telling him he needs to not rush me and be patient. He ends up asking me to go get what I need and he’ll wait in the car (too little to late…I just want to leave the store at this point) I tell him no and to leave me alone to which he replied “you’re being a bitch…dick…c*nt” etc in front of everyone. I am literally too stunned to speak and seething at this point. I take my stuff from his basket and go to self check out. We don’t talk the ride home and I haven’t spoken to him since. I am just so frustrated over how he thinks he can just hurl those words at me for me sticking up for myself? The whole interaction was horribly rude, corrosive, and deeply hurtful. I am just sick and tired of the covert abuse time to time from him. One second he’s nice and the next he is treating me like fucking shit. I need advice on how to move forward in the relationship bc I’m at the end of my rope with him.
1 comment
That seems really tough and this advice won’t be any easier and may not apply anyways as I don’t know either of y’all or both sides of the story but, consider maybe that he might have some other issues going on in his personal life or his head in general that is more or less causing his behavior. He could also have a mental illness that could be contributing to his behavior. Either way maybe instead of reacting and essentially playing along with his nonsense. Try being “the adult” and looking past his anger and more at his potential problems and trying to help him through it.
Not that this is exactly relatable but, my best friend suffered a serious TBI a couple years ago and gets destructively angry at times particularly when he refuses his meds. It took me a while to get over it and instead of reflecting anger back at him I’ve learned to embrace it and be calm and talk to him about the problems.
Good luck, hope this helps.