I’m 22M, have a solid group of 4 guys who are all around my age that I’ve known basically my whole life. Super great friends, brothers basically, love them with all my heart. In the span of 2 years they’ve all got girlfriends, I’m the only single one.
I’m totally fine being single and actually enjoy it, the problem is their girlfriends all control them so much I barely get to see my friends anymore. Only place I see them is at recreational sports we play 2 days a week which the girlfriends are always at so they don’t even talk to me there.
We used to go out and party all the time before they got girlfriends, we haven’t gone out once this year. The one time we planned to all go out (just me and the guys) the girlfriends threw a hissy fit in their group chat and cancelled the plans. Things like that happen all the time. Was at a bar with one friend, his girlfriend showed up at midnight yelling at him and forced him to get into the car with her and go home. We used to drink and watch football at my house all the time, the girlfriends now need to be there if we’re going to do that.
We even went on a trip to a city close to where we live and stayed in a hotel. My friends didn’t want to go out and spent most of the weekend on their phones texting their gfs. The night we did go out they sat in the corner all night. One even told me his gf was mad at him he was out and said something along the lines of “She can’t be mad if I want to marry her”
It feels like I’m not even an option for them anymore. I’ve expressed my discomfort and told them I never get to do anything with them anymore and they just blow me off and ignore what I want to do. It feels like I’m wasting my young years because my friends are with some girls that probably won’t be around in 10 years.
I’ve even expressed my discomfort to the girlfriends and ask them if I could please go out with my friends for 1 night before the years over and they basically just laughed at me. They know they control my friends and it’s honestly disturbing to see, especially that it’s 4 friends not just 1. I’ve done my best to respect their relationships but it’s to the point where it’s effecting my life and what I can do with my time. I’ve spent a lot of Saturday nights home alone because my friends prefer to get bossed around by their gfs.
Any time I ask to do something it’s always the same, “oh I’m with girlfriend this weekend” “how will girlfriend feel about that” “I’m in the doghouse”.
I do love these guys and don’t want to find new friends, I want to make memories with my brothers.
TLDR
My friends got girlfriends and I’m no longer an option for them
5 comments
Talk to new people and maybe get a girlfriend yourself
This will change in a few years. In the earlier stages of a relationship when you’re drunk off relationship hormones and the sex is flowing like water it makes young people do some really stupid things. Stick with your friends but don’t be afraid to meet new people because you might be waiting a while.
Are you actively dating?
That’s rough, man. Unfortunately, there’s not really anything that you can do, except try to find a new group of friends. It won’t happen right away, but if you keep putting yourself out there, in time I’m sure you’ll meet some great new people. You could go to meetups, hiking groups, gaming events, shows, sign up for a class that interests you, etc.
As for your friends, let’s hope that they aren’t with their girlfriends in 10 years- yikes! And let’s also hope that your friends are using protection every time, so that they don’t find themselves stuck with both a toxic relationship *and* a kid that they’re not ready for. Regardless, you can’t make them see reason, so will just have to focus on improving your own life.
Your friends are thinking with their dick and staying in these horrible relationships and contributing to making it a bad relationship. None of that is what a healthy relationship should be like.
I don’t think you can pull their head out of their ass unless you wanna possibly tank all of your friendships. Give it time. Sometimes people never pull their head out of their ass so don’t put all your hopes on it.Make new friends.