Hello everyone,
I’ve always had trouble making friends. I feel like I always say the wrong things and I come off as either awkward and self-pitying or when I try to hard I come off as arrogant and snobbish. I’m trying to find the perfect middle ground.
However, there is one coworker who I really like! Coworker A is really nice and we spend a lot of time just the two of us due to scheduling.
Still, Coworker A is part of a “clique” that’s kind of intimidating with Coworkers B, C, & D. I think coworkers B, C & D look down on me (they’ve said some mean comments to me… but maybe I’m just misconstruing them).
I like Coworker A a lot, but I feel like they are always with their clique during lunch and out of work activities, etc.
I feel awkward. I ask Coworker A if they want to do something and they swill say they are already doing something with clique. Coworker A will say “oh we are doing X activity, you are welcome to join me & clique”. But someone taught me once that unless the whole group invites you, you are not invited, so I always politely decline.
Can I still be friends with Coworker A? Should I make more of an effort to be their friend? I feel awkward when I say “would you like to do. X activity with me?” And it’s usually “sorry I’m already doing activity with Clique”. And then it’s awkward.
I think my options are:
– enjoy the time I spend with coworker A when it’s just the two of us at work
– just keep trying to set up activities (how do I did this without being awkward?)
– try to be friends with clique
– distance myself from Coworker A
I need guidance on how to talk, what to say, and what to do! Thank you.