We’re both 30.
Context:
I’ve had multiple partners and she’s only had one and that one was painful for her. Supposedly dude she was married to never made her cum and i do but with problems. Read on.
Pain:
So my girlfriend of 4 years, find ourselves in a pickle. The only way she orgasms or feels anything good/ great is when we’re pretty much pelvic bone to pelvic bone grinding out missionary. Mostly her grinding and me just slightly pushing if we’re being technical. Our agreement has been i bite the bullet in the first half until she cums and then we switch positions to my liking or i just let her finish and call it a night cuz mentally i just don’t care sometimes.
Actual problem/ concern:
The pelvic bone thrusts are painful to me and not her as i stated she gets full satisfaction.
Aside from physical pain It sucks cuz I’m more penetrative sex, as in all the way in then come out some and then back in. (You know, the usual lol)
Also wanted to add that when I do go deep it hurts her so the grinding i speak of is me being in my head to make sure more grind less penetration so it doesn’t hurt her by going to far. So let’s say I’m at an angle and 90% inside most of the time.
The limits:
Absolutely no nipple play because it bothers her and feels weird.
Same as nipples clit touching is also not a thing because it bothers her or “it just doesn’t feel good and I don’t like it”. She always moves my hand away from these areas like asap. So of course I back off cuz well umm… That’s rape lol
Pretty much every other Position hurts her or she gets no pleasure whatsoever. Doggy, cowgirl, me on top with her legs up and over my forearms or above my shoulders. Its all just pain for her.
Another limit is she doesn’t ever want to and pretty much has not ever wanted to explore herself to see what works. We’ve have had sit-downs are serious conversations before about this and it a definite no go.
I also suggested porn to get ideas but that’s also a no go.
Suggested toys to learn her body but also a no go.
We both decline drugs.
She is open to other wild positions and turning and flipping and bending but ultimately same outcome.
…… …… ……
This is regularly and also if we have drinks too, thinking maybe we’ll both loosen up and learn something new but its same ol same, missionary pain.
The Question:
For the girls out there who don’t enjoy any nipple play or clit stimulation or traditional penetration what did you or your partner end up doing so your man can also enjoy sex and not tolerate it?
As always, i will edit depending on your answers. Thanks.
2 comments
What about her on top, leaning forward, either sliding with your dick on the outside for pressure style clitoris stimulation, or with you inside her so that she can control the depth but also grind that pubic bone. In that position it’s more of a slide instead of a thrust, which you may find more gentle on your bones. And, if she likes that position, then push your dick down, pointing upwards between her butt cheeks with lube on it, and let her keep grinding that pubic bone, you can kind of tip your pelvis up a bit to help, and she’ll have some extra sensations in the backroom without having to commit to the discomfort of penetration, and for your part, reach your hand down there and make it feel extra good for you too, so you’re both building up and enjoying.
Is she aware that she is causing you pain? Personally I wouldn’t want to continue doing anything that I know is painful to my partner(BTW not trying to slight the sadists/masochists out there).. so she is being pretty selfish.
Just as you respect her boundaries she should try to respect your pain/boundaries as well. Really sounds like youll be stuck until she finds another method of comming but like that will be really hard unless she is willing to try something new.
I get it.. For the longest time I was also too nervous to discover my own body. I still sometimes get uncomfortable when my SO plays with my nipples or offers to go down on me. Fortunately he’s never pressured me(just occasionally offered) and with time I’ve become more willing to try it. Nipple play for example still isnt quite my thing so no guarantee that it will ever necessarily change even then. With trust and time.. you can find other things that are enjoyed.
Personally penetrative sex on it’s own doesn’t really do anything for me(outside of pleasant feelings of being intimate with my partner). I need a very strong vibrator to come. Usually we kinda prioritize the positions that get me off first(ie. Cowgirl +vibrator etc).. Occasionally this requires me being nearly motionless to get there which is alot less stimulating on his end. He’s really enthusiastic about me getting off tho so he’s never complained. Even then its not just all me or something.. We tend to swap positions fairly often (every few minutes) so no one positon ends up feeling stale for either of us and plenty of time to enjoy positions we find mutually enjoyable.
You say no clit stimulation.. isn’t she grinding on her clit? Or is she specifically grinding something internally?
I know you said no toys.. but any particular reason? Personally when I was first exploring my body i found sex toys were a good start becuase I felt less awkward with him touching me with a toy than touching me directly. Your results may vary tho.. If you can start off with something innocuous like a feather or ice or something in foreplay?
One suggestion..Search for “grindable sex toy”. Not my thing personally but perhaps that could help take some of the rubbing pressure off of you?