We’ve been dating 5 months, & in that time frame We’ve only seen each other 5-6 times. We met on Facebook dating & talked on the phone for a month before we decided to have a first date. After our date, we mutually decided to be in a relationship. We’ll, she’s very busy, has work & school, & is also moving into a new house with her mother so she’s also busy moving her furniture/ painting her room. I am also a student, as well as work, & I always suggest hanging outonce a week, but she always says she’s to busy. The way we hang out is by playing fortnight online about every night & talking. I bring up hanging out more and she gets mad and starts yelling at me and says she’s to busy and I need to respect that. I suggested hanging out once a week, or maybe twice a month, but she says that’s way to much and she only has time to have a date once a month. She says once a week is ridiculous and to demanding. She also, says once she moves in with her mother that I can’t go over, cause I’m not allowed so I suggested coming to my house to hang out or sleep over and she says that she doesn’t like sleeping over or hanging out at other people’s houses and that I have to deal with it… she says that she also has no intention of us ever moving in together in the future or seeing eachother more than once per month and she cannot offer anything more. All I want is to spend time with her. Maybe even see her twice a month. She says she wants to be with me and when I suggested bieng just friends she said she doesn’t want to be just friends. I really love her but I feel like I’m wasting my time and I’m bieng neglected. She always yells at me. She was really sweet before but when we started dating all this came out. Is twice a month really to much to ask? We live like 15 minutes away so I cant find why its so hard. I do my best to buy her things paint pictures for her, & play games with her, but I feel like I’m wasting my time. I feel once she moves next month with her mother I’ll never get to see her. It feels like we’re internet dating or in a ldr. How can resolve these issues and be a better person?
6 comments
You know your needs and she has told you what she can give. It’s not compatible.
She seems to be making excuses already and it’s gonna get worse later? Why are you staying? People make time for those who matter. A simple dinner or grocery shop meet up isn’t a big deal when you’re 26 year olds. If she can’t incorporate you in her life, what’s the point?
To me that is kind of the point in dating is to find out if you’re compatible or not with another person. If you have needs and her needs are different than you’re not compatible. Find somebody who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them and makes a point to spend that time with you. Good luck to you. I dated and had a few long-term relationships before I met my husband.
She’s just not that into you, if she was she would actively want to spend time with you. Sounds like she just wants an online friend, move on mate she isn’t the one.
You’re simply incompatible. She has no idea what she actually wants but you do so put your happiness first and meet someone on the same page as you.
Your problem is you seem way too nice for your own good. You wear your heart on a sleeve, and have high hopes when you love somebody that they will be the person you want them to be and give you what you need. But it is an illusion. The truth is in front of you.. can you really even call it a relationship if you only see each other once a month?
Also, have you actually met her mother in person? If not that is a red flag. After 5 months a person should introduce you to their family. If she didn’t already do that, I would be suspicious. Cause maybe she doesn’t live with family and is married or in a relationship. That’s why she may be so quick to get angry when you ask to see her more in person.
Leave, tell her that she obviously doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, as she’s only ever put up walls to spending time together.
Tell her that you have reconsidered being friends, and you no longer want that either.
Then you block her on everything. Take some time to process everything, then you find yourself someone else, who is willing to put effort into a relationship with you.