Women of reddit, what frustrates you about the talking stage?

30 comments

  1. The same conversations over and over, or just the conversation instantly/immediately turning sexual without getting to know me.

  3. Working makes responding harder. How much is too much in terms of massaging? Am I annoying them?

  5. I only really get frustrated when the talking stage goes on too long without getting a date set up.

  6. It might be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t like good morning texts everyday and constantly asking what am I doing…they do it for like 5-7 days and then it becomes a burden…what is even the purpose?

    Also talking about favorites…like even I don’t know dude! If you are really serious about us, stick around and you’ll learn about them gradually!

  7. That I don’t know how to do it. My history is single af or balls deep into commitment.

  8. Having the same chit chat part of the conversation over and over and goddamn over again (I’m ready to change my screename to FineHwRYou? on literally every social and dating app in existence) or having the conversation go from zero to sexual in 2.9 seconds.

  10. Not immediately being honest with what it is they want. I’m not asking because I’ll give the boot if it’s one of the two extremes people usually run away from (only sex or marriage). I’m asking because depending on how I’m feeling right now we may or may not be a good match. I don’t like wasting time.

  11. Women who can’t engage in conversation. Dealing with super passive chicks sucked when I was on the market.

  12. of dating One thing that frustrates me about the talking stage is how long it can last. Sometimes it feels like you’re just stuck in this limbo where you’re not really sure where things are going.

  14. I’m married but it really bugs me how quick men turn things sexual in the talking stage with my friends.

  16. How quickly men go from “hey” to “FINE, F*CK YOU, YOU’RE JUST A FAT, UGLY B*ITCH ANYWAY I HOPE YOU GET R*PED AND MURD*RED YOU DUMB C*NT” and then 20 min later “lololol my friend got my phone and pranked you.” My dude, you’re 38.

  17. Same as most responses: Conversation that clearly shows a lack of investment, as if they are doing it in anticipation for that opportunity to make a conversation sexual. Like, they are just doing enough conversing to see if they paid enough “friendly” tokens to get the sex they want.

  18. So many messages. Im busy, some conversation is great but texting needs to be limited to about 10 minutes max. I dont want to text all day or have long conversations by text. Its annoying. Im usually driving, working or interacting with people in the physical world.

  19. I honestly dislike texting during the talking stage. I would much rather just meet up somewhere and talk then.

  21. That it has to be defined, that everything has to be defined. Getting to know someone should just be part of the process and it’s fun.

  22. Conversations without depth. When I ask them any questions about them and then instead of answering they deflect.

    Sending me a good morning text and then 5 seconds later asking me what I’m wearing.

    Turning everything I say into some kind of sexual innuendo.

  23. I cant text them much or say much bc its the “talking stage” ughhh just get it over with

  24. I always feel like I’m auditioning, so I’m really not myself. There’s so much anxiety about what to share, when to share it. If I’m being too much, if I’m not being enough, etc.

    Then when I start to like them, I worry about how many other people they’re talking too, so I try talk myself out of liking them so much, etc.

    It’s really stressful

    EDIT: I took “talking stage” to mean dating before becoming official. If we’re talking about the first few conversation, the thing I hate is the boring conversations. I get bored too easily and just ghost after 2 or 3 “hey what’s up? “nothing you?” conversations that go nowhere.

  26. How quickly it can become a sexual conversation. Maybe get to know me a bit better first and take me out to dinner before getting raunchy?

    Also I can’t stand constant texting. The last guy I dated was a total clinger. From the moment he got up in the morning until he went to sleep at night he would text me non-stop throughout the day. I love my job and I’m super focused on my career, and I couldn’t get it through his head that I couldn’t talk to him all day long. It was so irritating.

  27. When it gets sexual immediately. If we haven’t met in person yet, don’t be asking me what color my panties are, telling me what you want me to do in bed, etc. We don’t even know if we will like each other in real life yet, so hold off on that. If we haven’t met, and you can’t list off 10 things about me that ain’t physical characteristics, don’t get sexual.

    On that same note, assuming we are gonna have sex on a first meeting. It’s not always off the table, sometimes me and said person will have incredible chemistry and just want to. But it’s never ever ever ever guaranteed. If I say no and you push it, there will be no more talking stage or meeting.

  28. Personally, nothing. But that’s because I don’t do “talking” stages. The “Talking” stage many have relies on text/phone/internet communication. It lends itself to low effort and lacks any sort of intentionality to me. I want to get to know someone face to face, and I expect to be setting up dates to do so. Sure, some casual and/or flirty texts here and there between dates, but constant communication? No.

  29. 1. The “talking stage” feels more like a job interview than 2 (or more, if that’s your jam!) humans cultivating a connection.

    2. People aren’t as interesting as they think they are, and it definitely shows when you talk to them.

    3. THE GHOSTING

    4. Full grown adults lacking basic conversation skills

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