Going through your everyday life, you have to recognise the instances when you are not the protagonist of the story, but just an extra of someone else’s…
The usual interaction with friends, family and colleagues is a sharing of stories, where we describe “our movie” and listen to the movie the other person is living. But sometimes something important happens to our interlocutor; the other movie has reached a climax. You have to recognise this event and take your role as an extra: your movie is on pause and you are now just an NPC in someone else’s story.
For example; you had a great weekend and you are dying to describe it to your friend in detail. But just as you are starting to talk, you learn that the other person has been the whole previous day at the hospital for a health problem of a parent. Your movie has just been put on pause. You should stop talking and begin to actively listen. It might be an insignificant subplot in your flick, but a significant arch in the movie the other is living. Unholster your empathy or fake it if you must, but try to show concern, ask question, offer help (even if blatantly unnecessary) and listen.
…then, you meet someone else and you are finally going to show-off your fantastic weekend! And they drop the bomb that they are getting married! Well… that’s very unfortunate for your movie, but it is again on pause. Put on a smile, scream “congratulation” and let them talk.
Don’t warry, there will be a time and a place for your movie to be in the spotlight. What is really very annoying is to talk to someone and see that you are always seen just as an extra in their movie. You might just have shared that you have lost your job and your “friend” is unable to pause just for a second the tale of how their cryptocurrency investment is doing. Don’t be that person.