I met a guy on a dating app. We texted for a few days and then finally met up. That first date was 5 days ago and we are already having wild conversations about having a kid and what our potential marriage would be like.
I should also state that even before we met he seemed overly intrigued by me. Like every time he’d find out something about me he’d try to set up a meeting for right then even though we had already planned a fist date. Now that’s not crazy given the fact that I am quite different than the woman in my area. So I can understand how he’d be taken back and want to know more. We also found that we have some similar interests, not crazy since lots of people are also into these things, but I honestly hadn’t found anyone else that was before. But none the less he seemed overly infatuated which he even said he was on our second date. Lol so points for honesty I guess.
I’m having very strong feelings for him. My logical side keeps saying, “nope this is not normal”, “he has some sort of angle” and he’s trying very hard to draw you in. But it appears he’s having the same. Though like I said I’m skeptical it’s real. He started being very interested in me immediately. And now I’m wondering if this is love bombing.
I know some people say how they knew someone was the one the first time they met them but I’m having a hard time believing that’s the truth of what’s happening here. How do you know that’s what’s happening and it’s not just someone trying to manipulate you?
I should also note that I make substantially more money than him. Being with me long term would most likely drastically change his life trajectory.
Am I being played? What should I do?
5 comments
Let’s be honest, every comment is going to tell you he is a demon and to run for the hills regardless of what you want to actually do lol
Keep your guard up and watch for obvious signs of emotional manipulation. Figure out your personal boundaries and stick with them. He could just be overeager which of you’re okay with it go for it. Keep your finances separate, think with your head not your heart when it comes to money. No is always a viable option. If he pulls thinks like if you care about me turn it around on him. Otherwise don’t try to overthings and enjoy.
I had something similar happen to me! My boyfriend and I (28M and 25F) have been dating for 6 months now and we also met on a dating app. Our first date went so well that he asked me to be his girlfriend the next day when we called each other. Since I totally fell for him I said yes. We’ve either hung out or video chatted each other for several hours every single day for the past 6 months now. My boyfriend claims that I’m “the one” for him and it was one of those things where he absolutely knew from the very first date. I think after about 1 week of us dating he started to slowly say these types of things (like me being the one for him, how special our connection is, etc) and then that slowly over the course of a couple more weeks morphed into him saying more serious things (like making jokes about putting a ring on it or saying when we get married or when we have kids). I was also very much on high alert! I was seriously wondering if this is what love bombing is. At this point I feel safe to say that it’s not love bombing. This is the most loving and healthy relationship I’ve been in. My boyfriend just really likes to communicate his feelings to me and I appreciate that so much! Specific love-bomby red flags I personally looked for were him saying things about how we had a special connection, how he couldn’t wait to marry me, etc and there being no actual connection like that between us to back it up. I actually did feel that we got along *extremely* well though and the way he said he felt about us actually did make sense based off how I was feeling about our connection as well. It’s rare, but some people just click really well immediately. I’ve personally never felt like I’ve been able to talk to another human being as easily as I can talk to him or even just have as many similarities when it comes to our personalities, hobbies, ethics, even dating history lol. I swear he’s like the universe’s male version of me. He’ll specifically mention how much he appreciates that we’re so similar and how well we communicate when he has these little “love bomb” moments and professes his love for me lol.
I have BPD and this is something I deal with a lot, I will become overly infatuated with someone very quickly and after a short time, those feelings will fade into nothingness. Obviously not diagnosing him over a Reddit post lol but I see what he’s doing within myself. That type of behavior is not normal, if you decide to continue this relationship I would be careful and be mindful of ANY other red flags you begin to see, if it goes any further south get out while you can.
>first date was 5 days ago and we are already having wild conversations about having a kid and what our potential marriage would be like.
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>Should I be running for the hills?
**YES!!!!!**
I don’t have enough fingers to count how many flavors of “creepy” that is!
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>Like every time he’d find out something about me he’d try to set up a meeting for right then
Add “desperate” and “delusional” to the list.
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> My logical side keeps saying, “nope this is not normal”, “he has some sort of angle” and he’s trying very hard to draw you in.
You should listen.
It’s probably right.
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>He started being very interested in me immediately. And now I’m wondering if this is love bombing.
It probably is.
“Love bombing” tends to *not* be based on the reality of the person or the moment; it tends to be rather generic and non-specific. This is a good test to see if what he’s doing qualifies as love-bombing.
Ask yourself: “Could he say or do this for *any* girl he dates?”
Its purpose is often to momentarily short-circuit your brain (especially the part which deals with common sense), and “blind” you to any obvious red flags.
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>I should also note that I make substantially more money than him.
Then you should just steer clear of him.
There’s too much at stake here.
The risk of this taking on a financial angle is something you really want to avoid.