How long until you know if the relationship has a future?

10 comments

1. After first date.

2. Exactly 373 hours in.

3. It goes the other way. Before meeting my wife I always went into relationships thinking they have a future, and realize they dont in a couple dates up to a couples month.

4. For me it took 3 months to figure out it wasn’t sustainable

5. Depends on the person. Recently I’ve been on dates that didn’t go past the first. Obvious that the person had too much baggage or wasn’t compatible after a few hours chatting in person. Longer term relationships I tend to do 3/6/9/12 month “evaluations” where I look back at what’s gone on and decided if I wanted to continue. For me, if I make it past 3 dates it’s probably going to be at least 3 months. Then start to consider more once the “honeymoon phase” is over.

6. You should know pretty quickly whether it can make it a few months. And I feel like you can know by 6 months whether it can last long-term.

7. Pretty much immediately, once we start talking at length about who were are, what we value, etc.

   I had the recent revelation that I’ve never actually gotten as far as a legit “first date” and not had it lead to some kind of more long-term relationship.

8. I don’t really think of it like that. But generally if I see a girl past date 3, it’s probably going to be something. Not that I necessarily think that at the time, but that’s how it goes.

   But “long term is relative.” Decades ago “2 years” would have been long term.

9. If I kiss her at an event and one of the guitar players on stage starts to spring up and play Johnny Be Good then I know the relationship has a future.

10. Once I had a good idea of her back story