So I had a really good date with a girl from Hinge – she was absolutely my type, it felt like we had great chemistry and could talk for hours, and were quite similar in a lot of ways. We get drunk, she comes back to mine, but doesn’t feel well, so we don’t have sex, but just make out and cuddle in bed. We just chill out in bed in the morning, cuddling and making out a bit more, and then she leaves.

I think its gone fantastic, but then she messages me the next day saying she doesn’t feel enough of a romantic future. I’m confused based on how well the date went, and text her back expressing my surprise, and just making sure she isn’t embarrassed about being ill at mine. She agrees we got on so well, and says she may be hasty and should consider a second date. I then propose a more chilled second date (with seafood paella, because we both said it was our favourite meal), and then she leaves me on read for a few days. Then replies saying she has had difficult couple of days, and to give her a couple of days to reply properly, to which i say ‘no worries, hope everything is ok’. 10 days later, she finally reads and replies, and says ‘as it stands, i don’t think i feel enough of a romantic future to move forward’

I’m still confused by that given how fantastically we got on, and she was obviously attracted enough to come back to mine. But I accept it, and make a joke that if my seafood paella can’t persuade her, nothing will, and thank her for letting me know.

20 mins later, she replies saying ‘Oh don’t, I’m such a slave for seafood!’ I’m like what the hell..it seems like the moment I show i’m not interested, she wants me to chase her? I’m just very confused by the whole situation


**tl;dr**: Had a really good date with a girl where it felt like there was great chemistry and compatibility. She then says she doesn’t feel enough of a romantic future, which I express my surprise at, and suggest a second date. She leaves me on read for a couple of days, then says she will get back to me properly in a couple of days. A week later finally gets back to me saying ‘as it stands, there isn’t enough of a romantic future’. I reply a day later referencing something we talked about on date, and thanking her for letting me know. She then replies 20 mins later, kind of leaving the door open.

8 comments
  1. She isn’t serious about you. Doesn’t mean you can’t have another date but don’t expect much if you do. She sounds like she is playing the field.

  2. I’m sure she had a great time and enjoyed getting to know you, I’m sure she agrees it was a good date. All that being true, if she’s not feeling a connection then there’s not much else to say. She keeps responding because she doesn’t want you to think badly of her. The door is not open.

  3. Honestly I feel as though she’s been very clear. You just seem to want to change her answer.

    The comment about being a slave for seafood just sounds like her feeling guilty/not knowing how to respond.

  4. I think the fact you two expedited the physical intimacy has left you with some unrealistic expectations. You’re very solidly in the getting to know each other phase and a heavy make out sesh and sleepover doesn’t change that.

  5. I think she’s trying a few seafood paellas to see which one she likes more

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