It’s so frustrating because I came from a pretty messed up background (pulled out of school at age 6 because my parents didn’t like the CPS checking up on them, went to the adult Ed center at age 15 with a third grade level of education…) but I don’t talk about it. If something good happens to someone I am genuinely happy because their happiness and good fortune might be as close to it as I can get. So I live through other peoples happiness lol.
My roommate can’t go more than a few hours without launching into a pity party. Be it because a character in a movie goes to a good school, a friend got a job interview etc. he always turns everything into a rant about how he can’t do those things because he went to a public school and has a middle class family.
Don’t get me wrong I think his feelings are valid but I avoid talking about anything positive around him because he finds a way to twist it into a pity party. And most of the things he complains about seem to have more to do with his own life decisions than his upbringing, contrary to his complaints.
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This is just me, but I’d be tempted to help him double down. “I KNOW, your life is TERRIBLE! Who KNOWS what will happen next??? Maybe a PLANE will crash into the house…” etc.
Sometimes the best reaction is no reaction at all.
Just don’t say anything. After a pause, change the subject.
It’s horrible to live with someone like that, exhausting.
As far as I know from experience it’s a way to get attention, plain and simple. If you don’t feed them attention when they are using the pity card… It ussualy vanishes (maybe they feel upset for a little while but nothing further).
You put an example of you living a difficult life and you are not whinnying and complaining all day long, that’s the key actually. Pity complainers even invent stuff or find excuses to keep being how they are. 90% of the time are things that any mature adult would handle easily.
Leave him distance away from him why do you want to be around someone who ruins your /others mood and drain your energy?