What are the pros and cons of being a stay-at-home mom?

9 comments

1. It’s exhausting- everything from the household falls on your shoulders while trying to keep everyone including yourself safe, fed, clean, and entertained- simultaneously being under appreciated for all you do. Less money in the bank.

   Pros are that you get to watch your children grow up and have more memories with them.

2. I’m Australian. And was older when i had my kids. So wasn’t under extreme pressure to need to get back to work.
   The American situation is quite different to here.
   So that needs to be taken into account.

   I just didn’t have to stress about much. I was able to just parent each day with no need to force anything. If i was up all night? Fine. I slept or didn’t do much the next day. I could make my own schedule.

   I did what i wanted to everyday. I just relaxed and ENJOYED my babies. Shopped when i could fit it in and lived totally by my own schedule.

   I had fun with the kids. If suddenly i felt like going to a pool and floating around with them all arvo? I did! We loved spending hours at the park.

   No pressure was the thing. I could just enjoy being a mum.

   Those years were truly the best years of my life. 100%

3. Pro- no work stress

   Con- stay at home, mom

4. Cons- I could never take the stress of not being in control of our financial situation. I make more than my husband. Being a mom.

   Pros- I’m not really seeing any.

5. Pros: Save money on childcare, get to spend time with your kid(s)

   Cons: No breaks, exhausting AF, can affect future work and career prospects and earning potential

6. Especially when your kids are little, it is non-stop and it is exhausting. And when I say exhausting, I mean you have never been so damn empty of everything but weariness in your entire life. There are no breaks. There is no lunch hour. You’re never off the clock. I remember once sobbing because I was so jealous of my husband’s commute. He got to be alone in the car!

   While being exhausting, it is also high pressure. Everything you do affects your child, their development, and their lifelong mental health, so better not fuck up in your exhaustion fatigue! Don’t forget you’ll be judged harshly be absolutely everyone around you, too.

   Bonus judgment points if your partner comes home from their 9-5 and judges you for not dusting under the couch or something while you were trying to keep a toddler alive all day and then says whats for dinner.

   But most people know all that. They go into SAH knowing it. The thing I never considered and I don’t see younger people considering is the financial impact to you. Every year you SAH is a year you are losing experience, dropping away from your field, not contributing to your retirement. “Oh, but my husband earns enough for both of us!” I hear you saying with a chipper little grin. Fantastic. But be very, very honest with yourself with the truth of how you are making yourself dependent on him for the rest of your life. If he falls off a cliff and dies when you’re 40, guess what, you’re going to be working nights at the gas station trying to feed your kids because you no longer have the qualifications or experience to be hired for anything, and no one wants to hire a middle aged person with no work history. You are giving up your financial power, most likely for the rest of your life. Maybe that will work out fine for you, but it doesn’t always. It didn’t for me. So think very carefully before you make that leap.

7. I’m a stay at home mom with a 7mo. My husband is self employed & mostly works from home.

   Pros:
   – I get to watch my girl’s development up close. I notice every little new thing she’s learned.
   – I have a lot of time to do whatever I want just about every day. I ride my bike for 2-2.5hrs 2-3 times a week, while baby naps (husband’s office is across the hall from her room). I take baby to see my parents, take her to the library, baby sensory class, etc. I take a 45-60 minute nap every day.
   – My home stays incredibly tidy, chores are always done. This takes *a lot* of effort.

   Cons:
   – It’s relentless. There are no days off. I have to get up with her, even if it’s 5:00am.
   – It’s repetitive and the days sometime blend together. Sometimes I don’t know what to do to entertain her.
   – Less money in the household. My husband always earned much more than me, but I miss having my own paycheck that I could spend on whatever frivolous thing I wanted.

8. pros: no commute, you don’t have to “work”

   cons: kids/babies/toddlers. plus expected cooking and cleaning.

9. The pros of being a stay-at-home mom are that you get to spend more time with your children, you can control your own schedule, and you may have more flexibility in terms of work hours. The cons of being a stay-at-home mom are that you may have less income, you may have to give up your career or job opportunities, and you may feel isolated from other adults.