My best friend (22) slept with my boyfriend (23) she has never done anything like this before, and we’ve been friends now since high school.
She told me while drunk, after a night out, saying she is very sorry and how she didn’t know how to tell me, but she has feelings for him. They’ve known each other for a long time, and I’ve met him through her, she has been an amazing friend tbh – and it’s out of character for her to act in this way. I feel hurt and upset, but at the same time I value our friendship.
I feel disappointed at my boyfriend, we’ve been together for a while and I thought I could trust him. Should I break up with him after this?
42 comments
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its not the first time they’ve fucked, its the first time you caught them. leave them both and get on with your life
drop them. don’t let her get away with this. you deserve better friends and partner. have some self respect and show them that what they did, you’re not ok with. life goes on and you meet new people. it’s not worth trying to salvage a friendship if somethign like this has already been done. we meet new people in life, don’t settle for shitty people
Yes break up with him. He is a cheater and will not stop. Your friend is no friend..break up with her as well.
Please cut contact, this goes BEYOND cheating with a. Random person, cut ALL CONTACT with the both of them! You deserve better!!!
All the best OP! I hope you get through this stronger
>she has never done anything like this before
That you know of…
>she has been an amazing friend tbh
Clearly and demonstrably not.
>and it’s out of character for her to act in this way.
No, it’s not. It’s 100% in her character. She simply hasn’t had the opportunity to show it to you until now.
>at the same time I value our friendship.
Why? She’s shown you she doesn’t.
>Should I break up with him after this?
Why are you even asking this. Also, dump the backstabbing friend. There is nothing to be gained by keeping terrible people in your life other than more heartache and disappointment. If you forgive either and allow them to stay in your life, you will show them that there are no consequences and are giving them an open invitation to treat you badly again.
Sorry, but there is no real way a reletionship can recover from this sort of thing.
I am a bit sad that you are even weighing your options here.
Please break up with him and cut your friend out as well. I am sorry you have to go through this, its a horrible thing your friend+ex did to you.
Drop them both drunk or not they did it willfully and knowingly and didn’t care if you got hurt!! She is not your friend and she got your BF. She is only remoursefull to make HER feel better! Sorry but they are pos’s , and you need to dump them and ghost them, and get ready for them to be together. Also they probably talked shit on you before and after they f***ed!! You have no friend she’s garbage and your BF is garbage and you need to throw them out!!!
She’s not a friend and he should be dumped. If you forgive her for this, what’s stopping her doing it with future boyfriends. Friends don’t do this to each other.
Drop them both, a bestfriend who truly cares for you would never do that. You don’t know if she has ever done anything like this, they were likely hooking through most of the relationship. You deserve better, a better friend and a better boyfriend.
Doesn’t seem like a friend to me
Get rid of the friend because she doesn’t feel your friendship. Get rid of your boyfriend because he slept at someone that’s your best friend. Start over and you’ll be much happier in the end.
Break up with them both. You deserve so much better.
And they both have low character, you are just a good person and give people too much credit.
How are you even asking that question?
>Should I break up with him after this?
Is he on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness and accepting 10000% of the blame? Also, has he come clean and told you everything? Not the best look that she told you and not him… If the answer is no, then dump his ass. If the answer is yes, then it’s totally up to you. It’d be a lot of work and patience, but I’d tread very carefully due to the following;
>but she has feelings for him. They’ve known each other for a long time, and I’ve met him through her
They have some sort of history. First of all, she ain’t your friend, I’d recommend dropping her regardless of how you proceed with your bf. Friends don’t fuck their friend’s partners…
Beyond this, more context on their history together/this situation as a whole and how your bf is acting would go a long way in helping anyone give you advice.
If I were you, I would end it with both of them!
Real friends don’t backstab you like that.
A real partner wouldn’t cheat on you, especially with your bff.
They both knew what they were doing. They both knew it would hurt you. And, they both did it anyway!
Im sorry this happened to you. You deserve better.
Amazing friends don’t fuck their friend’s partners. If she “has feelings for him” this wasn’t a drunken accident, she just wanted to fuck him.
Oh, and break up, obviously. You’re way too young to stick around with a cheater.
Lose them both
Throw the trash out.
Both bags.
You should get rid of both of them and find people to surround yourself with that aren’t assholes.
I just want to clarify did this happen before you got together or was it during your relationship
You should break up with both of them!
Why are even asking if you should break up with your bf isn’t it obvious you should ? Drop your “best” friend because she is no friend of yours anymore, how could you trust either of them ever again?? I don’t understand why you are hesitating to remove these people that obviously don’t care about you from your life !!
You shouldn’t hang out with cringey people like that OP. Tell them both to get a job and cease contact. Even if they have a job it will leave them bewildered.
Have some respect for yourself and ditch these assholes, no one who cares for you at all would do something like this.
My bf fucked my best friend…should I leave him?
Do you REALLY not already know the answer?
They both already broke up with you. She has feelings for him and she told you to get him for herself, not out of guilt. There is no longer any friendship to value. You don’t say what his reaction was when you found out, but it doesn’t appear he is begging your forgiveness and blocking her. So accept they are going to be together and move on. It’s sad to be used like this but better to find out now.
You should break up with both of them
I had a best friend who slept with my boyfriend and I know how much you’re hurting rn, but I promise it will get better. As for your friend I’m gonna bet there was some signs that she wasn’t a good friend before this but your love for her made it hard to see. Honestly for both of them I’d cut them out bc what is going to happen if you don’t? Either the cheating will go on or you get to sit and watch the lives they started building behind your back come to fruition, but either way it’ll leave you hurting for a lot longer than cutting them would hurt you. If you stay and forgive them all you tell them is what they did was ok and that you will forgive them when they do terrible things to you; that’s not a contract you want to sign trust me.
From what I learned during my betrayal is that the time of a friend doesn’t matter it how much of a friend they were during the time of knowing you that does.
Drop them both.
Break up with them both. Immediately.
I’d ghost both of them. Neither really care and both are at fault.
Why are you even asking ?! Have some self respect.
Well your title should be:
My Former Best Friend Slept With My Now Ex Boyfriend
They both have shown their true colors. She has shown she does not give a fuck about you if you are in the way of what she wants. You will always be a lower priority than her wants and desires. Your bf has shown that you do not matter to him.
Let everyone know them for the sacks of shit they are, and move on with your life.
Boyfriend and friend about to be a power couple of scumbaggery
Umm; girl, she’s not a friend… wtf is wrong with you. Real friends don’t fuck their friends boyfriend. And your bf, is trash. Both are trash. Take the trash out. And leave it out.
Get rid of both
An obvious YES! They’ve both betrayed you, and no matter the past, they are both terrible friend and boyfriend. They both don’t care about you they just want each other, so let them have each other and move on. Trust me, it’ll end horribly for them, and you don’t wanna be around when it does. I know it’s probably going to be hard but doenst sound like you’ve been with him for years on years and maybe you’ve been friends with her for awhile but these are hers and his true colors. Take off the nostalgia glasses and see them for what they showed you who they are. They are liers, cheaters, and people who don’t even care about you. Cut them out, show them actions, and have consequences. If you take eitehr of them back, they’ll walk all over you in the future since you allow them.
I am so sorry that you’re going through this. Alcohol is never an excuse and your best friend. She already admitted that she had feelings for him. She just went through with it you don’t just break up with him but you also need to break up with her. She’s not a best friend, a best friend is not going to sleep with your boyfriend.
Troll
What will happen is, in your 30’s he will be back from another affair & she will see you still as this lesser being that puts you down and eats your self esteem until you’re fat, unhappy & don’t understand why the people in your life never really truly feel like they care. It was this moment where you decided to move forward that started it. Don’t forget that.
Ummm…yes you should break up with the bf and find a better bff.